Excuse my absence, but it's for a good reason this time

Hey folks. Just wanted to drop in and update everyone on my whereabouts. It's been awhile since I've had to post an Excuse for Lack of Updates, but it's for a perfectly good reason this time around. You see, I'm currently working on a submission for the Agony Booth, a movie recap site that supplies MST3k-style commentary on terrible films and television episodes. I'm recapping that classic 80s action remnant, Gymkata. I will, of course, let everyone know if I'm published on the site. In any case, that's what has been occupying a majority of my time.

Ebert, Roeper call it quits on At the Movies

Sad day today, folks. I'm a huge fan of At The Movies with Ebert and Roeper, a weekly movie review program originally hosted by Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert. Well, after two years of medical issues, Ebert is calling it quits, and the second co-host, Richard Roeper, is following suite. The International Herold Tribune reports:

Chicago Sun-Times film critic Roger Ebert says he's cutting ties with the television show that he and the late Gene Siskel made famous.

In an e-mail to The Associated Press on Monday, Ebert said Disney-ABC Domestic Television had decided to take the show "in a new direction" and he won't be associated with it.

His announcement came a day after Chicago Sun-Times columnist Richard Roeper said he was leaving the nationally syndicated At the Movies With Ebert & Roeper.

Sounds like neither host liked the direction Disney wanted to take the show. As a regular viewer, it saddens me to see them go. But I'll keep an eye out for both of them elsewhere.

Trailer Trashing (Shorts Edition): Good Eating Habits

Introducing Shorts Edition, where Trailer Trashing takes on educational short films of decades past! The length will allow for more riffing and the option of guest riffers, so look forward to more of these in the future. You'll also notice that the audio sounds considerably better -- it's because I built of pop screen out of nylons and an embroidery hoop (classy, huh?). In any case, it gets the job done, and the audio sounds great. If anyone is interested in how to make a pop screen, let me know, and I'll put a video tutorial up. Enjoy and leave your comments below!

R#09 Reviews D&D 4th Edition!

In 1974, Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson created Dungeons and Dragons, the most popular tabletop role-playing game of all time. Now, nearly 35 years later, I hold in my hands the Player’s Handbook of Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition, the latest (and greatest?) incarnation of the classic dice-rolling, pen-and-paper, geeky time-waster.

I rolled my first d20 (that’s a 20-sided dice, for you non-nerds) at 12, and I haven’t looked back since. I’ve been a huge fan of D&D since 3rd Edition, and continued playing through 3.5. I’ll admit, I’ve had little-to-no experience with pre-3rd D&D, but I am a tabletop gamer, and I feel as though I can supply you with a smart and relatively well-informed review of D&D 4th Edition.

Right off the bat, let’s put my pre-conceived notions on the table. Before the official release of 4th Edition, I (like so many other desperate nerds) got my hands on a PDF copy of the Player’s Handbook. I thought then about reading it over and typing up a review, but you really don’t know a gaming system until you’ve seen it in action. So I withheld.

What I gathered from reading through that PDF was that 4th Edition was very, very unlike 3rd Edition. In fact, 4th Edition differed greatly from even the Star Wars RPG: Saga Edition, which was toted by Wizards of the Coast as a preview of 4th Edition. I was a little surprised and even slightly dismayed to see such a strange and new system. It felt to me like a video game, a little bit too much World of Warcraft and not enough D&D. I wasn’t happy with many of the changes, and looked on 4th Edition with skepticism as it was officially released.

And now, two months later, I’ve DMed (Dungeon Mastered – it means I’m the guy running the game, geez) a four-hour session of 4th Edition and I’m ready to lay out my thoughts. So, without further ado: Rocket Number 09 Reviews D&D 4th Edition!

A Note to Non-Gamers: Prepare for me at my absolute, unadulterated geekiest.

The Game

Even at first glance, D&D 4th Edition is different. The art, the layout of the book, the entire rules-set – it’s all overhauled. The biggest changes deal with combat encounters. The creators sought to simplify combat through special character “powers,” and by doing away with the Vancian magic system. In 3rd Edition and all previous editions, magic was handled thusly: a magic-using character, depending on level and class, could cast so many of one spell per day. Once that spell was cast, it was gone, and would have to be memorized again through resting. Now, each class, magic and non-magic, has its own set of powers.

Powers fall into three categories: At-Will, Encounter, and Daily. At-Will powers can be used, in most cases, as many times as the player wants. They include basic melee and ranged attacks and minor spells. Encounter powers can be used once per encounter, or combat. Encounter powers are more powerful attacks that deal lots of damage and offer other benefits, such as healing or the ability to debilitate your target. And Daily powers can be used, well, once per day, and include devastating spells, powerful healing magic, and high-damage melee and range attacks.

Now, I’ll admit that for all of my skepticism, I like the new powers system. It’s fluid, fun, and each power has its own advantages, allowing each player variety in choosing what to do in combat. Fighters, for example, in 3rd Edition, could really do little more than hit things, over and over again, especially in lower levels. Now, in 4th Edition, the fighter has access to powers like Reaping Strike, which deals damage even on a miss, or Devastating Strike, which knocks enemies prone on a hit. Clerics now have the handy ability to both attack enemies and heal allies in a single round, doing away with the notion that clerics are simple healers. And wizards now always have the option of casting spells – gone are the days of using up your Magic Missiles and Melf’s Acid Arrows and switching to a bow or similar weapon. Now you can cast Magic Missile as many times as you want in a combat, once per round.

However, the power system is not without its flaws, and they become apparent after playing for a relatively short amount of time. Most characters start off with two At-Will powers, one Encounter power, and one Daily power. Granted, there are exceptions, as some classes and races receive inherent bonus powers, but the fact remains that there aren’t many powers to choose from. Variety soon becomes monotony as the dwarven fighter uses Reaping Strike for the seventeenth time in a combat. And since actions such as knocking an enemy prone, grappling with them, or cleaving are included within the powers, there really are no other options besides using one of these powers. For me, this took away some of the fun and freedom of playing pen-and-paper, and made me feel as though I was, again, playing a video game, only without the cool visuals.

Still though, the powers are fun and easy to use, and most take two rolls at most. In 3rd Edition, attacking, grappling, and knocking prone took several rolls and modifiers aplenty. In terms of simplifying the system, I suppose Wizards of the Coast has succeeded.

There’s also changes to classes and races. Returning are the stout dwarves, graceful elves, quick-footed halflings, versatile half-elves, and reliable humans. Newcomers are the dragonborn, a race of draconic humanoids; the eladrin, a society of high-elves; and tieflings, demonic beings from another plane of existence. D&D vets will note the absence of half-orcs and gnomes. While it’s sad to see the two races removed from the Player’s Handbook, you can rest assured that both are available in the Monster Manual.

With classes, we see some familiar names: cleric, fighter, paladin, ranger, rogue, wizard all return. New classes include the warlock, a slightly fanatical magic-user, and the warlord, a battle commander of sorts. Yes, wave goodbye to the monk, bard, barbarian and all the prestige classes. D&D 4th Edition has a whole new system of leveling higher-level characters, called Paragon Paths. So, in a way, prestige classes still exist, but it’s done quite differently.

The Session

I DMed Keep on the Shadowfell, the first prepared adventure from Wizards, with five friends taking up the roles of the characters. None of them were familiar with 4th Edition, and only two had seriously played D&D. As expected, things started out a little rocky, with questions aplenty and many confusing dilemmas.

I’m glad I had read the rules thoroughly beforehand, because we ran into our fair share of problems. Even so, I found myself flipping through the rulebook a lot (which was its own issue all together, but we’ll get to that later).

My major issue with 4th Edition is that it feels, to me, like two separate games. One combat game and one non-combat game. Whereas 3rd Edition had an overarching rules-set used for everything from slicing at a goblin to persuading a guard, 4th Edition tends to come a screeching halt when combat ends. It could be argued that this was due to the group of players I was with, and at least partly, it was. But a system that offers so much structure and simplicity in its combat leaves players wondering what to do when left to their own devices. If you’re new to D&D, you might have trouble shifting from combat to non-combat, which requires heavy pen-and-paper style role-playing.

Still though, after about the first hour, everyone started getting into it. The dice were rolling furiously, kobolds dropping by the dozens, spells flying this way and that. And the simplified rules are apparent, particularly when doing skills checks You know, despite my issues with the system, D&D 4th still manages the essential: it’s fun..

The Product

The Player’s Handbook is really a great-looking product, brimming with vibrant art. The style of art they’re going for in 4th Edition is cool, vastly different from Todd Lockwood’s work in 3rd Edition (which I adored). It’s a clean layout, fairly simple at first glance. Overall, I’m pretty happy with it.

Well, except that it’s nearly impossible to find anything in the damn book! The Player’s Handbook is not organized well. At all. Things referenced in the first few pages aren’t explained until hundreds later. Different terms are used for one thing, while others have no official term. For a system striving for simplicity, D&D 4th Edition is frustrating to get the hang of. And this is coming from someone who has played D&D many times before. I can’t imagine what it would be like for a newcomer to look on the daunting amount of rules, laid-out seemingly at random.

Yes, there is an index, and yes, it comes in handy. But if you’re looking for a cover-to-cover overview of the game, you won’t find it in the Player’s Handbook. It’s a frustrating flip back-and-forth scavenger hunt of a book.

The Verdict

Reading through my review, it might seem like D&D 4th Edition has more negatives than positives. This really isn’t the case. As hard as I’m being on the system, D&D 4th is fun and friendly to newcomers and veterans alike. I suppose if I could say one thing about 4th Edition, it would be that it’s different. I don’t know if it’s a step forward, per say, but it’s definitely a step away from the traditional.

This is a game system influenced by the popularity of massive multiplayer online RPGs, and board games like Descent, Arkham Horror, and other Fantasy Flight products. D&D is attempting to mature for fear of being left behind, and it’s updated heavily. It takes some getting used to, and it feels strange at first; but after the first few die-rolls, it’s business as usual. It feels like Dungeons and Dragons again. The spirit remains, even if the rules around it have changed. If you’re a fan of D&D, or just curious about the game, I would recommend picking up Keep on the Shadowfell, which includes a fairly rich campaign, sample characters, battle maps, and quick-start rules.

Brilliant Dark Knight rules the summer

The Dark Knight (2008)

Directed by Christopher Nolan, Written by David S. Goyer and Christopher Nolan
Starring Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart, Heath Ledger, Gary Oldman
Rated PG-13, 152 mins
IMDB

With Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins, we were treated to a new Batman. This was a gripping, dark, and realistic take on the caped crusader, more akin to Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns and Batman: Year One than anything Tim Burton or Joel “Rubber Nipples” Schumacher ever produced. And now, with its sequel, The Dark Knight, we have not only the best film of the summer, but of the year. This is, hands-down, the greatest comic-to-movie adaptation of all time, edging out the recent Iron Man.

Gotham is certainly safer with Batman (Christian Bale) around, but criminals still run rampant – and they’re getting desperate. As Batman, police lieutenant Jim Gordon (Gary Oldman), and district attorney Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart) tighten the vice on the mob, the denizens of the criminal underworld turn to the sadistic Joker (Heath Ledger), a psychopathic serial-killer with a flair for the theatrical. Plans to arrest and prosecute hundreds of criminals are foiled by Joker, who develops a personal interest in the trio of Batman, Gordon, and Dent, and goes out of his way to wreak havoc within the city and their lives.

The Dark Knight follows much of the same tone as Batman Begins, but the stakes here are set much higher. We are feeling for these characters as we never have in a superhero movie. These are believable people, presented by strong and capable actors, in dire situations. This is a haunting film, invigorating and emotionally exhausting at the same time.

The action is taught. Chase sequences and fight scenes are shot well, with plenty of establishing angles. One major complaint I had with Batman Begins was the camerawork during the action sequences, which was choppy and confusing. But I had no issues in The Dark Knight. Part of this might be due to the new Batman costume, which is flexible and even allows Bale to turn his head, a first for the Batman franchise. Complimenting the action, though, are plenty of dramatic elements. It’s as much a crime drama as it is a superhero flick, and it succeeds on both counts.

The performances in The Dark Knight are its greatest asset. Bale pulls off the conflicted Bruce Wayne, who struggles with a way to bring down Joker without encroaching on his own morals. Bale, in my opinion, is the best Batman we’ve seen, edgier than Michael Keaton, and just plain better than George Clooney or Val Kilmer (though you don’t have to try too hard with those last two – I’m pretty sure, I could do a better Batman than they did). Bale’s Batman is an inherently flawed character, operating on the blurry edge between justice and vigilantism, a hero who is a bit crazy himself.

Eckhart seems to be channeling Robert Redford as Dent, Gotham’s “white knight.” He keeps pace with the likes of Bale and Oldman, which is a feat in and of itself, and manages a strong and competent performance. The love triangle involving Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhaal), Dent, and Wayne is well-played-out, and lends itself to the storyline without becoming overwhelming. Also turning in great supporting performances are Michael Caine, who plays Alfred the butler, and Morgan Freeman, who returns as Lucius Fox, Wayne’s gadget-guy.

But far and away, surpassing everything else, is Ledger’s performance as Joker, which is, quite honestly, brilliant. Ledger’s Joker is at once repellent and hilarious, darkly funny and creepy. Ledger has gone above and beyond, sprinkling the already strangely endearing character with odd little nuances and subtle mannerisms, crafting a rich and truly deep character that is, for me, the highlight of the film. I could go on and on about how tragic it is to have lost such a tremendous talent, but I would be doing Ledger a great disservice if I focused entirely on his absence, ignoring his masterful performance. Put simply, Ledger is amazing in this film, everything I could have hoped for and more out of the Joker. Many critics are calling for a posthumous Supporting Actor Oscar nomination, and you can count me among them. It’s not a sympathy Oscar, either – Ledger is completely deserving of the nomination, if not the win. His is the best performance of the year.

It’s not over exaggeration to call this film a masterpiece, and it’s not ridiculous to tote this film come Oscar time. The Dark Knight is everything we wanted it to be, a monumental movie among a slew of great summer films. First Iron Man, then Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, followed by Wall-E and Hellboy II: The Golden Army. We’re not through the summer yet, but I feel safe in saying that its certainly the best summer movie season I’ve ever experienced, and The Dark Knight is its headliner.

See the trailer for Zack Snyder's Watchmen (and other exciting blog stuff)!

In the world of graphic novels, there is one title vaulted above all others by nerds everywhere: Watchmen. And now Zack Snyder, director of the visually impressive 300, has debuted the trailer for his upcoming film adaptation of Alan Moore's classic mind-bending comic book. Check it out exclusively at Apple. It looks to me like Snyder has outdone himself; Watchmen looks promising.

In other comic book news, The Dark Knight is out and people are watching it right now. You might be thinking, "Matt, what the freaking hell are you doing not watching the The Dark Knight?" Rest assured, readers. I am seeing The Dark Knight in a mere nine hours and shall report back promptly with a review. So look forward to that!

In non-comic-related news, I'm polishing up my review for D&D 4th Edition as I type this. And I've also just finished writing episode four of Trailer Trashing. Trust me, folks, you should be excited. This is a whole new direction for Trailer Trashing, and I hope you'll love it. So, in the next few days, expect many strange and wonderful things to befall my blog. Keep your eyes peeled!

Watch Trailer Trashing on YouTube!

You can now watch all three episodes (and all upcoming episodes) of Trailer Trashing on YouTube. The video and audio are a bit better, and we'll hopefully get some exposure for my little hobby over on the Tube. Plus, you now have the option of watching Trailer Trashing in... *epic music* HIGH DEFINITION. Let's hope the idiots steer clear, eh? Click here for the Trailer Trashing YouTube channel. Enjoy!

Beverly Hills Sixth Sense

Conor Lastowka, over at the RiffTrax blog, created this video mash-up of The Sixth Sense and Walt Disney's upcoming Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Enjoy.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Wanna see what Joss Whedon, the creator of Buffy and Firefly, was up to while the writers were on strike? Behold, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. It's a musical odyssey of one evil genius' quest to be accepted into the League of Evil, and his desire to be with the woman he secretly loves. Starring Neil Patrick Harris as Dr. Horrible and Firefly's Nathan Fillion as his nemesis, Captain Hammer. It's web-TV at its very best.

Del Toro delivers with Hellboy II

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

Directed by Guillermo Del Toro, Written by Guillermo Del Toro & Mike Mignola
Starring Ron Perlman, Doug Jones, Selma Blair, Luke Goss
Rated PG-13, 110 mins
IMDB

Forget Agent Myers. This time around, it’s all about the freaks. With Hellboy II: The Golden Army, visual genius Guillermo Del Toro has crafted a veritable feast for the senses. The film sports a fistful of vivid action set pieces, a dozen or more monstrous creatures, and memorable moments by the barrel. It’s bursting at the seams with brilliant characters, each of them developed far beyond what was offered in 2004’s Hellboy.

Hellboy (Ron Perlman) is back, called to action after an exiled elf prince named Nuada (Luke Goss) vows to reignite a centuries-old conflict between the human and the mythical worlds using the fabled Golden Army. Aiding Hellboy in his mission are his fellow agents at the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense: Liz Sherman (Selma Blair), pyrokinentic; Abe Sabien (Doug Jones), amphibious psychic; and Johann Krauss (Seth MacFarlane), ectoplasmic being.

Whereas Hellboy served as an introduction to the B.P.R.D. and its strange employees, its sequel forgoes the pleasantries and plunges the audience immediately into a weird and intriguing world. Hellboy II just has a different feel to it, a fantastic whimsy paired nicely with the gritty detective edge of its characters. The fairy tale-esque tone of Del Toro’s Pan’s Labyrinth is apparent and welcome.

As mentioned, Rupert Evans does not reprise his role as John Myers. And though Evans did a bang-up job as the befuddled F.B.I. transfer in the first film, Hellboy II focuses on what’s important: the outcasts. Liz’s and Abe’s characters are greatly expanded, more closely resembling their roles in the Mike Mignola comics. Liz takes on a leadership role in the B.P.R.D., leaving the muscle-work to tough-talking Hellboy. And Abe doesn’t spend half of the runtime in an aquarium (and even has a love interest). The character of German mist-man Krauss is a welcome addition as well, as interesting and well-thought-out as any Mignola creation.

The film is refreshing in its special effects, utilizing animatronics and physical monster maquettes in many of its creatures. And the creatures are just fantastic – strange and unique and wonderfully grotesque. The Troll Market, one of my favorite sequences of the film, is bustling with all manner of oddities, like an infant that proclaims “I’m not a baby, I’m a tumor,” or a troll that eats stray cats.

The action is also top-notch, with plenty of swordplay, martial arts, and good, ol’ fashioned brawling. Hellboy does battle with everything from rabid tooth fairies, to evil elves, to mechanized trolls, and everything in between. It’s a flowing film, moving steadily, stopping only momentarily for the audience to stare in wonder, and wish that more filmmakers took moviemaking as seriously as Guillermo Del Toro.

With Pan’s Labyrinth under his belt and his name floating about in the mainstream, Del Toro is free here to make his film as wild, as entertaining, as creepy and as fantastically imaginative as he wants. And Hellboy II is certainly a great movie for it. As a huge fan of both Del Toro's first film and Mignola's comics, it warms my heart to see such a wildly imaginative blockbuster.

Look for my D&D 4th Edition review soon!

I will be running the Keep of Shadowfell, a D&D 4th Edition adventure, tomorrow. I've gone through a few test combats and read the rules again and again. D&D 4th has its problems, for sure, but it also looks to be a fun and flowing system that allows for variety in combat and non-combat encounters. I'll give the final word after the game tomorrow, so keep an eye out for that.

In honor of our independence, airbrushed cars and the jackasses who own them

Happy Fourth of July, everyone. As you might imagine, I couldn't care less about the holiday. Call me crazy, but stuffing myself ill with meat and blowing things up doesn't really appeal to me.... Wait a minute... that sounds awesome! Come to think of it, I'm not really sure why I don't enjoy Independence Day. I just don't. Maybe it's the fact that my neighbors, without fail, launch fireworks long past 2:00 a.m.

In any case, I present to you now, in honor of the Fourth, cars airbrushed with patriotic themes and scenes!

Here we have a typical airbrushing job. The owner has decided that he really doesn't care about being laughed at everywhere he drives, and has plastered his pick-up with, not only a dramatically waving American flag on the back windshield, but an American bald eagle majestically protecting the bed. God Bless America.

Wow. This fellow has gone above and beyond, actually going so far as to depict the Revolutionary War on the hood of his PT Cruiser. I really don't need to say anything else, do I?

Ah, if there is something more American than a semi-truck emblazoned with waving American flags, I don't know about it. Happy Fourth, good buddy.

Starbucks to close 600 stores, tools nationwide to whine about having to drive further for their lattes

MSNBC reports that Starbucks will close 600 stores, eliminate up to 12,000 jobs, and open up fewer than 200 additional stores in its upcoming fiscal year.

Starbucks, known for sometimes going so far as to open stores across the street from one another, has recently acknowledged that it may have lost some of its luster during a long period of rapid store openings and expansion into everything from breakfast sandwiches to movie promotions.

Longtime readers of R#09 will remember that I don't really like Starbucks. Granted, there are few non-coffee drinks that I enjoy. But the drinks aren't the problem. For the most part, I'm a firm believer that Starbucks represents this nation's general stupidity. I hate people who claim to be "addicted" to Starbucks, persisting that if they don't get their daily latte, they will be horrible to be around. Hate to break it to you, but you're horrible either way and you're feebly attempting to justify your $96-a-month habit.

The days of visiting your local Starbucks, finding it too crowded, and crossing the street to your other local Starbucks are over, it seems. It's sad, however, that it took a serious loss of profit for Starbucks CEOs to realize that opening multiple stores in the same damn parking lot wasn't the best idea.

Why we need film critics

I just thought I'd share this recent piece by Slate's Erik Lundegaard. In a time when film critics are being laid off faster than Boeing employees, it's nice to hear someone in the business supporting this dying profession. It's a good read.