rocket number zero nine

Update!

2010-11-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

I'm participating in NaNoWriMo! Check out my profile page.

On Words

2010-10-19T13:31:00.000-07:00

British comedian/mad genius Steven Fry has given me a lot to think about.

I am uppity about language, passionate about words. I hold a degree in being pretentious about English — a degree! I am one of those people you see rolling their eyes at the misuse of apostrophes and misspellings on fast food message boards. When Steven Fry talks about elitist, pretentious holders of words, who maintain a monopoly on language, he's talking about me. Me, and people like me.

So I feel guilty. Because he's right.

Who am I to hold the words? Why am I more qualified to use them than you are, than she is, than he is? Don't words belong to everyone, in equal parts? Is not language the sum of everyone's thoughts, feelings, emotions, innovations, bright ideas, professions of love and hate and apathy?

Honestly, who am I to keep all of these words to myself? Sure, I know the rules. I know why this comma goes here and this semi-colon goes there. I know what an Oxford comma is, that you shouldn't split your verb phrases, and that over (or under) is volume and more than (or fewer than) is quantity. But why, I ask again, does this entitle me, and people like me, to keep words for ourselves?

What happened to freedom and experimentation? Who is pushing the boundaries now in language, in writing, in storytelling? How many more hypothetical questions can I pose before I drive myself insane, get in the car, and careen off the nearest cliff?

One more, is the answer. Exactly one more hypothetical question.

Why don't more people love words?

If it's my fault, I'm sorry.

Let's Play Dragon Age: Origins - Episode 5 - Meet the Darkspawn

2010-10-15T13:40:00.000-07:00

In this fifth installment of my Let's Play series on Dragon Age: Origins for PC, my dwarf and his Grey Warden compatriots encounter the darkspawn for the first time.

Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Electronic Arts and developed by BioWare. This video is intended for entertainment purposes.

Let's Play Dragon Age: Origins - Episode 4 - Taking Down Beraht

2010-10-14T01:05:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the low audio in this one. It will be fixed in the next episode!

In this installment of my Let's Play series on Dragon Age: Origins for PC, my dwarf finally gets an opportunity to take down his boss, Beraht, and goes topside with the Grey Wardens!

Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Electronic Arts and developed by BioWare. This video is intended for entertainment purposes.

Let's Play Dragon Age: Origins - Episode 3 - Spilling Blood on Stone

2010-10-13T12:22:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the low audio on this one. The third episode of my Let's Play series on Dragon Age: Origins for PC. In this installment, my dwarf enters combat in the dwarven arena, and is taken into custody for defiling the contest!

Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Electronic Arts and developed by BioWare. This video is intended for entertainment purposes.

Let's Play Dragon Age: Origins - Episode 2 - Finding Oskias

2010-10-12T02:15:00.000-07:00

The second episode of my Let's Play series on Dragon Age: Origins for PC. In this video, my new dwarf goes out into the world, struggles with the camera, and seeks out Oskias.

Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Electronic Arts and developed by BioWare. This video is intended for entertainment purposes.

UPDATE: I've solved the camera issue. I promise there will be exactly zero seconds of complaining about the camera in the next episode.

Let's Play Dragon Age: Origins - Episode 1 - A Hero in the Making

2010-10-12T00:39:00.000-07:00

The first episode of my Let's Play series on Dragon Age: Origins. In this video, I create my character, choose his skills, and set off on an epic adventure.

Dragon Age: Origins is owned by Electronic Arts and developed by BioWare. This video is intended for entertainment purposes.

Thoughts on a possible Let's Play?

2010-10-10T19:51:00.000-07:00

Hey folks. Been trying to think of a new project for Rocket Number 09 lately, and one idea I've been toying with is doing a Let's Play video series. For those of you who are unaware, Let's Play videos entail somebody playing through a video game, recording their footage, and commentating on the gameplay as they do so. I'd be doing my Let's Play series on Dragon Age: Origins.

So, thoughts? Comments? Hurled insults? Awkward passes?

How one dude restored my faith in humanity, gaming, and retail (all in one night)

2010-09-27T22:42:00.000-07:00

First off, I'm going to try and keep the sappiness in this post to a minimum. That said, I'm being serious.

To preface: I don't get much personal satisfaction out of my retail job. That's not to say that I don't take pride in a job well done, or that I'm lazy. Quite the opposite, really. I just feel that retail, and many other jobs, have little benefit beyond getting paid. If I'm going to put forth the effort to do my job, it's rewarding to receive something in return beyond simple monetary compensation — I want to feel good about what I'm doing, and I want to help people.

Retail doesn't offer many opportunities for personal enrichment like this. But sometimes, even menial cashier work can make you think.

I worked a closing shift by myself this evening at the board game shop. A Magic: The Gathering tournament was scheduled, but we only had one guy show. His name was Michael. Upon meeting Michael, I quickly discerned that he was slightly mentally disabled — not glaringly so, just a little slow was all. Michael seemed disappointed that the tournament wasn't happening, and confessed to me that he had taken the bus to get to the store, and that it would take his mom at least an hour or two to come by and pick him up.

I explained to him that folks didn't always show for the Monday night tournaments, and that he was more than welcome to stick around the store while he waited for his mom. I also told him that he could look through our many binders of single cards to help pass the time. He thanked me.

Michael stayed in the store for over three hours.

Recently, I have become disenchanted with the gaming community and the way it presents itself. I deal with too many jerks and snobs to look upon the populace that I belong to and find redeeming qualities. It's the obsession, the fanaticism, the body odor. It's a lot of things, but it certainly isn't kindness or camaraderie.

But Michael and I talked for three hours, while I worked and sorted behind the counter, and he looked through singles and organized his own cards. Michael told me that he loved the game, and that he was still pretty new at it. He showed me a couple of his decks, and asked for my advice on how to improve them.

Now, I'm not an expert on the game of Magic. But I know the game fairly well, and play it often within my circle of friends. I talked to Michael at length about his decks, and what cards I would recommend for them. Michael seemed excited to be talking to somebody about this game that he loved, and listened with rapt attention, eyes widening when I would explain the outcome of certain cards and combos.

"And what does this card do?" he would ask again and again. "When would I use this ability?"

And we just kept talking.

Michael talked about his job, his family, and how he didn't have many friends. For him, playing Magic was an escape from the hassles of working a grunt job at his local Wal-Mart. It allowed him a space to be creative and thoughtful while interacting with real people. It became clear to me that Michael was just a lonely guy looking for connection.

"You look tired," he said at one point.

"Just bored," I answered.

"Well," he said, "at least we have each other to talk to."

I don't want to overstate the importance of Magic, of trading card games, or of this particular experience. But I also don't want to deny its effect on me. As Michael left the store, I couldn't help but think that this is what gaming is capable of, and that no matter how many self-important douchebags come through our store, there are always people playing the game for the fun and the sense of community.

Michael kept thanking me for my help, and for keeping him company while he waited for his ride. I didn't really know how to tell him that he'd given me so much to think about, that we were even.

The end is now the beginning is now the end of rental stores

2010-09-23T10:21:00.000-07:00

It's official: Blockbuster is closing. And this mere months after the last of the Hollywood Videos have closed down.

Blockbuster, which employs about 25,000 people, has been closing stores as it grapples with competition from Netflix, Coinstar unit Redbox and others that deliver movie rentals digitally.

Sounds like rental stores are going the way of the dodo.

Gnomeo and Juliet trailer

2010-09-21T15:01:00.001-07:00

What the what?

Japanese Spider-Man

2010-09-20T14:07:00.000-07:00

Wandering the depths of YouTube, I stumbled upon this awesome gem.

I love how no matter the hero, he will always have a giant transforming robot.

There will be blog

2010-09-20T01:57:00.000-07:00

Indeed, the rumors are true, and the prophecy has come to pass. I have returned to Rocket Number 09 for the umpteenth time with promises of frequent updates. So what's new with me? Well, I graduated a few months ago, so there's that.

Oh, and here's a picture of me standing next to a chocolate-covered bacon stand.

See you all soon.

Faygo away

2010-09-19T19:07:00.000-07:00

First off, please enjoy my punny title. I’m not typically a huge fan of puns, but I was cracking myself up with that one.

Now. There is serious business to see to.

At the board game shop in which I work, we sell a soda called Faygo. Specifically, we carry Faygo root beer (there are many dozens of flavors of Faygo, apparently). It’s essentially a cheap soft drink that somehow manages the seemingly impossible task of tasting both a little too syrupy and a little too watery. How this mean feat is achieved, I will never know. But I have to give credit where credit is due.

It tastes about as good as that knockoff brand of ginger ale you’ve never heard of that your uncle brings to the family gathering. You surmise that he purchased the 2-liter bottle of piss-tasting tonic water and syrup at the local Dollar Tree, and make a mental note to steer clear of it.

It’s like if you took a bottle of expired maple syrup and poured it down the toilet, then decided against it and scooped it back into the bottle.

That’s basically Faygo.

But what truly brings my attention to Faygo tonight has nothing to do with the soda’s less-than-awesome taste or humble Detroit roots. It does, however, have everything to do with the soda’s primary consumer — the juggalos.

I will not attempt to concretely define the juggalo, its inexplicable existence, or its origins (no, perhaps I will save that for a later post). What I will cover is the juggalo’s magnet-like attraction to a mediocre soft drink, and why it ruins my day.

For the unaware, juggalos (or juggalettes — yes, the word is even gendered) are die hard fans of the mysteriously popular hip hop group, Insane Clown Posse (ICP). From Wikipedia: ”Juggalos have compared themselves to a family. Common characteristics include drinking the inexpensive soft drink Faygo and wearing face paint. They view the lyrics of Psychopathic Records artists (which are often violent in nature) as a catharsis for aggression. According to ICP founding member Joseph Utsler, “[Juggalos come] from all walks of life—from poverty, from rich, from all religions, all colors. It doesn’t matter if you’re born with a silver spoon in your mouth, or a crack rock in your mouth.”

Ustler’s words confuse me, because my experience with juggalos has predominantly been with young, heterosexual, lower-class, white males with inferiority complexes and unemployment checks burning holes in their shorts. They travel in pairs or packs, wear ICP merchandise like school colors, and strut around being generally unpleasant, loud, and unshaven.

But unraveling the mysteries of juggalos is hardly my intention. What I seek to understand is why juggalos are drawn to Faygo like sailors to the sirens.

Faygo is produced in Michigan, and was apparently enjoyed by the ICP members when they were growing up in Detroit (Rock City). Nostalgia. Alright, I get that. I do. It would make sense that even those crazy, mixed-up clowns would still enjoy Faygo even today, as the syrupy taste likely drudges up memories of their childhoods, however dismal and depressing they may have been. But why have the juggalos, their fans, taken to it so readily, when the soda likely has no meaning to them whatsoever?

When my store first started carrying Faygo, word spread quickly amongst the local juggalos, and before long, hordes of them came sidling in, asking “Where the Faygo at?” and nearly starting full-scale riots when the machine jammed. If the machine was out, they’d take it warm just as readily. And if there was a case available, they’d buy the lot of it (presumably to bring home to their juggalettes and juggaloos for dinner).

I mean, I’m a huge Metallica fan, and would likely take a bullet or missile for James Hetfield, but you won’t find me running out to buy a truckload of his favorite breakfast cereal in a vain attempt to eke some of his awesome. But juggalos don’t seem to see it that way — and in fact, this crazy little pocket community of America’s white trash has claimed Faygo for their own in a sort of turf war that nobody else is participating in.

You guys want Faygo? It’s all yours. You can have it. It tastes like fountain drink runoff anyway. I’ll keep my literacy and dignity in exchange for it, and you can be on your merry, insane way.

Now, I have several theories as to why juggalos need to drink of the Faygo. Please enjoy them, because they're extremely scientific and just as plausible.

Theory One: Juggalos are sort of like vampires. Only instead of blood, they thirst for crappy root beer. If they don't get Faygo every few days, they get paler and scrawnier than they already are.

Theory Two: Juggalos are a hive collective (like an ant colony) and must drink Faygo to appease their overlords, the great Insane Clown Posse.

Theory Three: They're a bunch of misguided idiots who think they have to drink Faygo because some crappy hip-hop duo they've based their entire lives around happens to also drink the stuff.

That last theory seems a little far fetched to me.

Trailer Trashing: The Wonder of Water!

2010-07-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

Trailer Trashing: The Wonder of Water from Matt Click on Vimeo.
Matt and Darrin discover the wonders of H2O! I apologize for the wonky audio levels on this one. It was surprisingly hard to mix.

New Trailer Trashing on the way!

2010-06-18T11:24:00.000-07:00

Hey folks! Long time no see. I'm in the midst of summer classes at the moment, but I did find a few spare hours to record an all new episode of Trailer Trashing with my good friend and frequent Trashing buddy, Darrin Jones. Look forward to seeing that by the end of the weekend!

In Which I UPDATE YOU

2010-05-06T21:32:00.001-07:00

Consider yourselves updated! And if you're interested in watching the episode of Trailer Trashing I mention in this video, head here.

Other links I mention in this video:
mattclick.com
joshway.com

Taking a Break

2010-04-06T01:00:00.000-07:00

Hey folks. As you might have noticed, I'm taking a break from blogging for the moment so I can concentrate on schoolwork. It's my senior year as an undergrad, so I've been working my ass off lately. In the meantime, check out my website, www.mattclick.com. You'll find a bunch of my fiction stuff there to read.

Catch you guys this summer.

Pardon me? No, pardon you, lady

2010-01-27T23:27:00.000-08:00

I've avoided putting this up here for a long time, but it keeps popping up everywhere. I figure it's time I gave in and subjected you all to the horror that is Pardon Me, by Maxine Swaby. Not quite Jan Terri bad, but she's getting there.

R#09's Top 25 Video Games of All Time! (One + Honorable Mentions)

2010-01-27T21:53:00.000-08:00

See all 25 games right here!

And so here we are. The moment you've all been waiting for. It's my favorite video game of all time (plus a heaping pile of honorable mentions). I hope you've all enjoyed this little countdown of mine. Thank you for reading and commenting!

No. 01 — Chrono Trigger

Genre: Role-Playing Game

Release: 1995

Platforms: Super Nintendo, PlayStation, Nintendo DS

This, for me, is storytelling at its best. Chrono Trigger spans thousands and thousands of years. The cast of characters — which includes a female mad scientist, a princess, a robot, a cave woman, a formerly evil dark wizard, and a frog knight — are lead by the red-haired, katana-wielding Crono as they bound across time to battle an ancient evil. Intricately plotted and sporting an epic soundtrack the likes of which had never been heard before, Chrono Trigger was, and certainly still is, a true masterpiece of the medium. As I’ve said, I was a Genesis kid growing up. But every time my Uncle Mike would visit from California and bring his SNES along, it was Chrono Trigger and Super Mario World for me. Chrono Trigger always enthralled me, and continues to do so today. Chrono Trigger is the Citizen Kane of video games. And that, my friends, is why that makes it my favorite video game of all time.

Honorable Mentions:

Doom, Doom II, Warcraft II: Tides of Darkness, Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos, Choochoo Rocket, Halo: Combat Evolved, Baldur’s Gate, Day of the Tentacle, Streets of Rage II, Metal Gear Solid II: Sons of Liberty, Unreal Tournament, Duke Nukem 3D, Final Fantasy IV, Final Fantasy VI, X-Com, Grandia II, Shenmue II, The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay, Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War, Super Smash Bros., Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Super Smash Bros. Melee, Batman: Arkham Asylum, Resident Evil, Spiderman and Venom: Maximum Carnage, Rocket Knight Adventures, Golden Axe, Golden Axe II, Mario Tennis, Mario Kart 64, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Heroes of Might and Magic II, Missile Command, GoldenEye 007, Soul Calibur, Soul Calibur IV, Plants vs. Zombies, Perfect Dark

See all 25 games right here!

RIP Zodiak Ironfist

2010-01-27T18:07:00.000-08:00

Time to get serious.

I am shocked and deeply saddened to learn that my friend and fellow bassist, Rob Michaud, otherwise known as Zodiak Ironfist (his alias on YouTube), has died. Rob died in early January, apparently of heart-related complications. I never met Rob in real life, but I did interview him over Skype last year for a freelance story I wrote that has yet to be published. Rob was one of the most genuine people I have ever had the pleasure of speaking with. He was kind-hearted, up-front, and just as solid a guy as can be. He was also one of the greatest bassists I have ever heard — hands down, Rob was the real deal. He loved music with every fiber of his being, but never took it too seriously.

If there's one thing that can be said of Rob, it is that he loved what he was doing, and that he never asked to gain the following he amassed in his time as a Living Room Rock God. So here's to Rob Michaud — the original Living Room Rock God. You will be missed. Condolences to his wife, family, and friends.

Please stop by Rob's YouTube page to partake in the pure awesome that was his bass-playing.

Posted below is the entirety of the story I wrote after interviewing Rob. Interviewing Rob and writing this feature was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. And I will never forget what he told me after he read it: "You're one hell of a writer."

We miss you, Rob. Rock on.

The Living Room Rock God
An Interview with Bassist Rob Michaud
by Matt Click

Rob Michaud plays bass in his pajamas for strangers. That’s how the 37-year-old post-doctoral research scientist describes his recent forays into the burgeoning musical community on YouTube, where he is known as ZodiakIronfist. To some, Rob might appear that way—an aging rocker in his pajamas, playing Iron Maiden songs in his living room. But his tight, thrash-oriented pick-playing and flawless finger-plucking denote otherwise. Beating away on his 1974 cherry red Rickenbacker 4001 every weekend has brought Rob some measure of internet fame and an eager fanbase. With hundreds of thousands of views on his videos and over 2,000 subscribers, it’s clear that Rob, despite his humility and self-deprecating sense of humor, is a true Living Room Rock God.

“I don’t know how any of this happened,” Rob says of his success on YouTube. “I really don’t know. Like, at all. This was not by design.”

Rob plays with passion and without reserve. He taps his foot to the beat, his picking hand a blur as it rakes across the thick-gauge strings of his bass. Between measures he flies into elaborate fills, mostly improvised, often insane. He leans his head back, eyes closed, and just plays—for the fun of it, for the love of it, for the thousands of subscribers who watch those callused fingers fly across the frets in the hopes of maybe eking some of his intense energy and drive.

“I don’t consider myself a natural musician,” Rob says of his playing style. He lights a cigarette with a plastic lighter, the tip flaring orange in the dimly-lit room. He takes a drag and blows through pursed lips. “I consider myself a natural scientist who likes music. I know this sounds kind of hard to believe, but I know very little about music, as far as what scales go together or whatever. I’ve never thought in terms of that. Everything is by sound, it’s not by design. I sit down and I play with the strings. I thump it this way and I thump it that way. I flick it with my finger, I dink it. I do everything I can to make a sound I’ve never made before. Once I make that sound, I try to figure out how to make music with it.”

Rob is a tall man with broad shoulders. His dark hair is swept back as he settles into the living room couch—the very living room in which he films his cover videos. He sips coffee from a colorful porcelain mug. The white walls of the Columbus home he and his wife Erica share are adorned with a few framed pictures, a “Vote Obama Nov. 4” poster, and a set of replica swords. In the corner, a large Peavey combo amp sits silent. Rob’s two bass guitars—the Rickenbacker, affectionately called Priscilla, and a crimson Schecter Stiletto named Wulfgang—are kept nearby, along with a black Ibanez electric guitar. Nailed on the wall above the amp are four stained wooden letters: LRRG.

Rob is the originator of the online Living Room Rock God (LRRG) movement. It’s a term he coined jokingly in March 2007, when his guitar rendition of Iron Maiden’s instrumental track “Losfer Words” hit YouTube and clocked in a few thousand views. An LRRG is anyone who loves to play music, but for whatever reason is limited to rocking at home. The term has since caught on with dozens of other musicians on YouTube who all refer to themselves now as Living Room Rock Gods. There is a website as well, where LRRGs from around the world come together to talk shop and make music. It’s a new frontier—musicians forming bands across continents, drummers jamming with guitarists thousands of miles away. Barriers are being broken and music is happening. And all the while, Rob Michaud remains humble.

“The way I’m treated on YouTube, it’s like I was born to play bass,” Rob says. “But bass playing was really accidental for me. It started out because of a gigantic misconception.”

Growing up in Texas in the 1970s, Rob was the child of divorced parents. He was a fan of the glam-rock band Kiss, whose on-stage antics and garish costumes appealed to his love of all things creepy and monstrous. When heavy metal experienced a resurgence in the late 70s, after its plummet in popularity on the cusp of the punk movement, Rob was there with wide eyes and open ears. It was Iron Maiden’s “The Number of the Beast” that initially caught his attention.

“It was the song that converted me from a Styx-listening pencil-necked geek to a metal maniac,” he writes of the song on YouTube. “That initial scream by Bruce Dickenson just grabbed me by the spine and never let go. The album cover was great, the songs were great, the music was fast and heavy. I knew I had finally found a home. Six months later, I bought my first bass.”

The speed and the heaviness of the riffs—Rob couldn’t get enough of it. Bands like Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, and Motörhead were making noise nobody had ever heard before. The songs were epically long, sporting wailing guitar, rumbling bass, screaming vocals, and drum beats laden with double kick-pedal. Rob decided he wanted to be a part of the metal scene. He wanted to play like Steve Harris and traipse about the stage like Nikki Sixx and blow fire and spit blood like Gene Simmons. That deep-throated growling of distorted guitars might as well have been a choir of angels for Rob—it called to him, and the young metalhead responded.

But for Rob, his entrance into the metal scene was bittersweet.

“I made a huge mistake,” Rob says, a smile tugging at his mouth. “I thought the distorted guitar that I heard was actually the bass. So I started noticing the bass players in the heavy metal bands and started really liking those guys. And then one day I got a bass in my hands and it didn’t growl—it went fwomp instead.”

But Rob wasn’t deterred by that fwomp, and soon bought a bass of his own. A local woman was making her good ol’ boy of a husband sell all of his toys, and among the horde of goodies was an Antares electric bass guitar.

“To this day, I have never seen another Antares,” Rob says, chuckling. “It was an off-brand, off of an off-brand, off of an off-brand. The strings were old flat-wounds and the action off of it was probably five or seven millimeters. It was just an unbelievably horrible bass.”

At the time, Rob had no idea what constituted a “good” bass, and so he banged away on the cheap flat-wounds of his Antares for months. His progress as a beginning bass player was slow. He didn’t play often, picking up the instrument every few weeks for only an hour or two. In the first six months of playing, Rob estimates he played an accumulated 10 hours.

“I wasn’t really to into the sound,” Rob says. “I was disappointed and kind of ashamed that I had spent that much money on an instrument that I didn’t really know anything about.”

After the first few months though, Rob buckled down. He became inspired by great players like Steve Harris of Iron Maiden, whom Rob lists among one of his chief influences. And there was no shortage of great metal albums being released either: Rob recalls Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” and Slayer’s “Reign in Blood” to be landmark albums for the thrash metal scene, and for his development as a musician.

“I sort of learned in a real backwards way what bass was all about,” Rob says. “Once I had a bass, I could hear it in the music, and I said, ‘Oh, so that’s what I’m supposed to do.’”

Rob had Black Sabbath’s legendary “Iron Man” down within three months, but his real crowning achievement as a rookie bass player happened a year later. Rob conquered Iron Maiden’s “Wrathchild,” a song rife with Harris’ signature furious finger-plucking. After that, Rob’s skill in bass took off, and he steadily grew to love the instrument. After three years of playing with that beaten old Antares, Rob got his hands on a Rickenbacker, the fabled high-treble axe of Cliff Burton, Geddy Lee, and Lemmy Kilmister.

“I walked into the pawn shop and there was Priscilla sitting there with a $450 price tag,” Rob says, smiling slightly at the memory. “I wheeled-and-dealed my parents, got my lawnmower money together, ran down there, and bought it that day.”

A Rickenbacker 4001 can cost upwards of $2,000 nowadays, being a solid-made instrument with a distinct, punchy tone and a unique look. Rob has been playing Priscilla for nearly 20 years and, aside from new strings and a re-finishing, the instrument has faired well and hasn’t needed any considerable maintenance. Like a woman aging gracefully, the fade of Priscilla’s sheen only adds to her charm. The majority of Rob’s videos on YouTube feature his beloved Priscilla. He happily obliges any fan on YouTube who inquires about the beautiful instrument.

Rob’s mother was supportive of his musical endeavors, urged by her then-boyfriend Mel (who would later become Rob’s stepfather) to encourage Rob’s passion. Mel was a musician himself who played rhythm guitar in several rock bands in the 1970s, and knew music was a conducive and healthy outlet. But not everyone was approving of Rob’s interest in heavy metal.

“I grew up in north central Texas,” Rob says. “You know, the Bible belt. Southern Baptist country. And I had a whole lot of trouble with the community because of my Iron Maiden t-shirts and my long hair. I didn’t look like someone who was going anywhere in life and they gave me a real hard time. I’m not saying I was a scofflaw or anything, but I didn’t like authority figures, and I let them know it. They didn’t really look at me for my character. Instead, they prejudged me because of my outward appearance and my taste in music, which I always thought was a bit unfair.”

Despite the negative reactions he received, Rob’s love of all things metal continued. Feeling confident in his abilities as a musician and hungering for the experience of playing in a band, Rob joined the progressive rock band Quest during his college days.

“We were sort of a combination of Rush and all that lame high-pitched crap that was popular in the late 80s,” Rob says. “And I was just their really fast bass player.”

Quest was a fairly successful local band. They regularly performed in front of crowds 1,500 strong, and a music video they had produced won an award. Quest was being noticed. Soon enough, record company representatives began appearing at Quest’s gigs. They attempted to woo the band, pushing contracts under their eyes, promising fame. Rob, however, was not impressed.

“It gave me enough of a glimpse into the world of music and what I had to sacrifice to become a career musician to make me run with my tail between my legs,” Rob says, laughing. “I did not want to do this. And so I said, ‘No, guys, I’m going back to school. I’m gonna go study science.’”

Quest fell on hard times after Rob’s departure, never achieving success with the record companies, and breaking up soon after. Rob was grateful to have jumped off the train before it derailed and began focusing on his academics, keeping music in his life if only on the sidelines.

“I decided at that point that I was never going to be famous,” Rob says. “I wasn’t even going to try. I don’t want to tour. I’ll play a club, a few people will cheer, I’ll go home, and that’ll be what I do.”

Rob had other band experiences later on, the most successful of which was a group called Mojo Bobfoot, a Primus-esque band made up of college buddies. Their songs were goofy and strange, with lyrics made up mostly of inside-jokes. For Rob, Mojo Bobfoot was his best experience with a band—just a bunch of friends fooling around with rock ‘n’ roll. Later, while living in New York, Rob fell in with a local death metal band. But the lead guitarist wanted Rob to tune his Rickenbacker down from standard E to C, and Rob refused. He snapped the clasps shut on Priscilla’s hardshell case and stalked out of the room.

“Find another bass player who wants to sound like a fart,” he told them.

At his next audition, Rob found himself in a haze of cigarette smoke amongst a jazz troupe. The guitar player was a black man with dark glasses and a bow tie, while the sweaty pianist looked like a skinny Billy Joel. They stuffed a sheaf of sheet music in Rob’s hands and said, “Alright, this is what we’re playing. And a one, and a two, and a three—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Rob called. The high-hat on the drums sizzled to a stop and the guitarist silenced a chord in mid-strum. All eyes fell on the metalhead with the Rickenbacker. “Uh, guys, I can’t read music.”

The jazz troupe exchanged glances.

“You can’t read music?” the guitarist asked, brows arched.

“No,” Rob said. “Not at all.”

“Get out,” the guitarist said.

The bad experiences kept piling up for Rob.

“There’s a lot of scumbag musicians,” Rob says. “I can only tolerate their cocaine habits and drinking for so long. I kept having these experiences until one day I just gave up. I said, ‘You know, I’m just gonna play by myself.’” He pauses a second to sip at his coffee. “But that was before YouTube. Before I realized that there are thousands of people just like me playing in their living rooms and lot of them happen to be nice guys.”

Rob joined YouTube in August of 2006. While scouring for music, Rob came across guys his age—with jobs, families, mortgages—playing covers of the thrash metal tunes he grew up with. Rob was enthralled, and soon started posting videos of his own. He formed a collaborative group with users such as guitarists PDXGuitarLegend and SatchBoogy, and drummer WCWhitner. Together, this makeshift cover band performed songs by Iron Maiden, Mötley Crüe, and Judas Priest—each member would record his part, and then the individual tracks were mixed and edited together. The effect was a virtual band, performing for a online crowd of thousands.

And then something happened for Rob. A YouTube user and fellow bassist called PookLowEnd came across Rob’s videos. He loved the concept of the Living Room Rock God and decided to take it to the next level. Pook created the LRRG website, devoted to featuring LRRGs all over the world. Rob’s number of subscribers—and the number of subscribers of nearly every self-confessed LRRG on YouTube—shot through the roof. The movement had begun. Rob’s self-depreciative title he used so innocently in his videos became a kind of siren call for living room musicians everywhere. The LRRGs gathered and started rocking. Rob was left wondering how this all happened.

But recently, Rob and the LRRGs have taken a beating from record companies that view their cover tunes as copyright infringement, specifically Warner Bros. and UMG. Rob has had six of his videos removed, and recently posted a video in protest of the blatant disregard for artist’s rights. What angers Rob most, though, is the fact that an automated computer system is removing the videos, and not people. Ironically, professional musicians have had their own videos removed due to copyright infringement, because this automated removal system does not have the capacity to differentiate. Bands such as Divine Heresy and Metallica have had their own music removed from their official YouTube pages.

“This is completely out of control,” Rob says. “Not only are the record companies asserting their rights over the consumer, but now they’re also asserting their rights over their own clients. So now, I don’t think they represent anybody but themselves. We’re all just sick about it and we’re all powerless to do anything.”

YouTube was formerly a standalone company that operated solely on revenue from advertisements. But the video hosting site has become exponentially popular in the last few years, and Google now owns YouTube and controls its interests. Because Google has yet to make any sort of deal with the major music labels, these record companies now reserve the right to remove videos they deem to be infringing on artist’s rights, including covers by Rob and the LRRGs.

“But it’s not the record companies versus us little guys,” Rob says. “I think the argument that’s happening here is that YouTube does not have a right to show our videos because they make money from all the advertising. So now what’s happening is UMG and Warner want to hurt YouTube, so they’re saying ‘Pull those videos down,’ and YouTube has no choice because they don’t want to get sued. I don’t think it’s going to get adjudicated until there is a deal between Warner, UMG, and Google. Right now, they’re playing hardball with each other, and they’re hurting customers left and right in this war of attrition. It’s corporate warfare at its worst.”

Despite this, Rob and the other LRRGs press on. There have even been cases of cover artists intentionally posting videos out of protest that they know will be removed, and waiting to see how long it takes before the all-powerful electric eye finds them and reaps destruction. But as YouTube is put under siege and these companies war across the expanse of the internet, the movement continues, and the Living Room Rock Gods continue doing what they do best.

For Rob Michaud, though, being an LRRG is just a bit of weekend fun. He feels blessed to have so many subscribers and glad that he can entertain YouTube users with his video covers. But ultimately, Rob is just what he claims to be—a guy playing bass in his pajamas. But he’s alright with that.

“The reason I’m not famous is because I don’t want to be famous,” Rob writes on one of his videos. “I had my chance at rock-stardom years ago and walked away from it in favor of an academic career. I think that my life is far more livable because of that decision. I have a wife that loves me, a decent job, and I do not have to travel all over the place all of the time. Not only that, but I have you guys as an audience now. And that is really all of the audience I’ve ever wanted. I'm happy.”

Gizmodo's 8 Things That Suck About the iPad

2010-01-27T16:33:00.000-08:00

Now, I swear, I am not going to get caught up in all the hype, good or bad, surrounding Apple's new device, the iPad, which they debuted today. But I have to say, based on its initial features, I cannot stress its uselessness enough. Gizmodo has a write-up of eight things about the iPad that sucks. Check it out!

Apple debuts the iPad

2010-01-27T13:35:00.000-08:00

Apple fanboys: *scattered applause, confusion*

Everybody else: lulz

R#09's Top 25 Video Games of All Time! (6-2)

2010-01-26T23:11:00.000-08:00

Missed some posts? Follow the entire countdown right here!

And here we delve into the final posts ... check back tomorrow for my favorite video game of all time, plus a heaping pile of honorable mentions for those games that are rad, but didn't quite make the cut. Hope you've all enjoyed reading this as much I did writing it. Cheers.

No. 06 — Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn

Genre: Role-Playing Game

Release: 2000

Platforms: Microsoft Windows, Mac OS

I have very fond memories of playing through the original Baldur’s Gate with my dad. I was drawn to the rich story, the unique characters (who were never quite as they seemed), and the simple, point-and-click gameplay that faithfully brought Dungeons and Dragons to the PC. Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn is everything its predecessor was and so much more. You know why these Baldur’s Gate games were so great? The player truly interacted with the world, with the characters that inhabitated it, and the villains that sought to control it. This was so much more than the hack-and-slash RPGs that permeate the genre right now. This is as faithful a representation of D&D as anything out there — the character can choose to fight his or her way out of situations, or negotiate, or one of dozens of other options. Good, evil, neutral, whatever. This is a true sword and sorcery adventure, and one that is a classic of the genre.

No. 05 — Super Mario World

Genre: Platformer

Release: 1990

Platforms: Super Nintendo, Game Boy Advance, Virtual Console

This is it. This is the game that turned me into a gamer. It’s the first game that I truly, legitimately marveled at. The levels were fast, brutal, and inventive. The graphics were bright and colorful and crisp — truly some of the best on any console, then or now. The music? Classic. The boss battles? Enjoyably frustrating. This is the Mario game to end all Mario games — the greatest platformer of all time. I still play this regularly to this day. And really, nothing beats throwing a Koopa shell into a line of Goombas, or getting a 1-Up by bouncing on a Bullet Bill, or getting so much air using the yellow cape that you literally soar across the entire level. Ah, memories.

No. 04 — Mass Effect

Genre: Action / Role-Playing Game

Release: 2007

Platforms: Xbox 360, Windows

I know, I know. Not only is this the most recent game in the top ten, but Mass Effect, while being generally well-received, is not without its flaws. But for me, Mass Effect did what no game had in nearly a decade — it forced me to care. There is a moment in Mass Effect, about three-fourths of the way through — I won’t give exact details for those who haven’t played it. But in this moment, the player must decide who lives and who dies. Not random non-playable characters or random sprites. No, you must choose between two characters who have been with you, fighting by your side, through the entirety of the game. And that … was a very real, very visceral moment in gaming, for me, at least. I sat there, mouth agape, controller limp in my hands, as the dialog window sat open before me, urging me to choose. I think I waited 20 minutes before making a selection. Mass Effect did so many things right — the story was engrossing, the style cinematic (epic, if you will). It had tangible characters with real backstories, and a sci-fi world that, somehow, made perfect sense. Like Baldur’s Gate before it (another BioWare title), Mass Effect had an environment the player could truly interact with and a world they could take part in. I thought about this game for weeks after beating it, saddened it was over. Thankfully, there’s a sequel — it was released today, actually. And you’ll be hearing my thoughts on it soon, undoubtedly.

No. 03 — The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Genre: Adventure

Release: 1998

Platforms: Nintendo 64, Nintendo Gamecube, iQue Player, Virtual Console

If Super Mario 64 sold me on the potential of the Nintendo 64, then Ocarina of Time solidified its place in my mind as one of the great consoles. And this game — this beautiful, stunning game — is one of the greats as well. Ocarina of Time put you, the player, into the shoes of Link, a young boy destined for greatness. I think Ocarina of Time was the first game with true scope. By that, I mean that it truly felt like you were saving the realm. The first time I beat the Deku Tree dungeon and stepped out onto Hyrule Field, and the camera panned across it, I thought, “Do I get to explore all of this?” I really just couldn’t comprehend it. I mean, really — my 10-year-old self was baffled. I have to admit: I didn’t finish this game as quickly as I might have wanted to. I would get frustrated with a temple and put the game down, coming back to it every once in awhile over the course of about a year and-a-half. Now, though, I’m glad it took me that long to beat the game. It was a truly epic adventure, one that spanned months. I savored this game, enjoying every little moment. Not only is this my favorite Nintendo 64 game, it’s also one of my very favorite games of all time.

No. 02 — Neverwinter Nights

Genre: Role-Playing Game

Release: 2002

Platforms: Windows, Mac OS X, Linux

Let me tell you about Neverwinter Nights. Sit down. First off, it’s a BioWare game, sort of a spiritual successor to the Baldur’s Gate games. And second, it’s based in the Forgotten Realms setting of Dungeons and Dragons, and utilizes the 3rd and 3.5 Edition rules. It is also the game I have personally clocked more hours on than any other game ever. Literally, hundreds of hours. I kid you not. And you might be saying, “Well, Matt, that’s just sad. It’s a seven-year-old D&D game,” to which I would respond, “Shut up.” It was a damn good game. The story was epic and, in true BioWare fashion, half of the fun was meeting new characters and uncovering their secrets, developing relationships as you furthered your mission. I played through the original campaign when it was first released, then continued playing the modules. Picked up the expansions and played through their campaigns, and then, in 2004, I discovered the online community. There was a huge population of gamers playing Neverwinter Nights online on various custom worlds, all designed in different and interesting ways to suit dozens of playstyles and genres. I came across one server in particular, found myself liking the community and the atmosphere, and got hooked. I’ve been on that same server for over five years now. There are hiatuses here and there when I get burned out and take a few months to myself, but I always come back. And I think, maybe, I always will.

Missed some posts? Follow the entire countdown right here!

Avatar sinks Titanic

2010-01-26T18:34:00.000-08:00

It's official. James Cameron's sci-fi hit Avatar has surpassed Titanic in worldwide box office sales. Soaring over $1.2 billion this week put Avatar one step above Cameron's earlier film.

From The Hollywood Reporter:

"Avatar" is the winner and new worldwide boxoffice champion.

After six rounds on the foreign circuit, "Avatar" is now the biggest-grossing film of all time, as earlier predicted.

Distributor 20th Century Fox said the James Cameron mega-budget blockbuster's worldwide cume -- excluding Puerto Rico -- was through the weekend just $2 million shy of "Titanic's" global boxoffice record of $1.843 billion. (Boxoffice in Puerto Rico, although generated offshore, is considered by Fox as part of its domestic total.)

The distributor confirmed that "Titanic's" historic benchmark fell as of early Monday.

Prisoner banned from playing D&D in prison

2010-01-26T12:39:00.000-08:00

Let's put this on the list of monumental wastes of time. A court ruled Monday that the fantasy role-playing game Dungeons and Dragons could not be played in prison, because it apparently promotes "gang activity." So, you'd rather they be using their creativity for other purposes? Like, say, oh, shanking people? Seems solid. Way to go, court.

Full story here.

No Top 25 Games today ...

2010-01-25T23:01:00.000-08:00

Hey folks. I'm just posting to apologize for the lack of a game countdown today. School stuff is happening at the moment and I haven't had time this afternoon or evening to get those entries written. However, the countdown will resume tomorrow with four more games, culminating Wednesday with MY FAVORITE GAME OF ALL TIME (plus honorable mentions). Look forward to that!

In the meantime, enjoy this:

Badass of the Week: Charlie Simpson

2010-01-25T13:05:00.000-08:00

Not only is he R#09's Badass of the Week, but Charlie Simpson is also qualifying for R#09's OMG THIS KID IS TOO ADORABLE of the Week. The seven-year-old from west London set out to raise £500 for relief efforts in Haiti by putting on a sponsored bike ride. But, in Charlie's words, "It's gone mad." All in all, Charlie and his friends managed to raise £72,000 (over $100,000) for Haiti.

"I want to do a sponsored bike ride for Haiti because there was a big earthquake and loads of people have lost their lives," Charlie told the BBC. "I want to make some money to buy food, water and tents for everyone in Haiti."

Charlie is a special little kid, I think. I'm a little overwhelmed with this story, honestly. It really is just too great for words.

Stop by Charlie's Just Giving page and please consider donating to this wonderful cause. Congratulations, Charlie Simpson, on reminding us all how simple it is to help out our fellow human beings. You truly are a badass.

Game Trailer: Aliens vs. Predator

2010-01-24T18:53:00.000-08:00

This looks sweet. I'm a huge fan of the original game.

Awesome Thing: Cat vs. Bear

2010-01-24T18:40:00.000-08:00

"Alright. Alright. I'm goin', I'm goin', man. I don't want no trouble. Lemme just grab my stuff."

FAQs have been updated!

2010-01-24T15:49:00.000-08:00

Finally got around to updating the (In)Frequently Asked Questions, addressing things such as Monster Riffs and formatting issues. If you're interested, check 'em out.

Superman is real — and British

2010-01-24T15:23:00.000-08:00

The Sun reports that a man dressed as Superman saved a woman in a bar from date-rape when she was slipped Rohypnol in her drink.

After recovering from partial paralysis in hospital, Elizabeth, 26, made an appeal to track down her Superman using the local paper in her hometown of Wigan, Lancs.

Modest hero Paul Longmire came forward. He had been out with pals in the costume borrowed from a friend.

The marketing executive, 23, said: "We saw Elizabeth stumble and go down face first. I tried supporting her but her legs kept giving way so I just picked her up and carried her outside before the ambulance came.

"She was shivering so I wrapped my cape around her then left. It wasn't heroic. I just helped someone."

Sounds like a stand-up guy to me.

R#09's Top 25 Video Games of All Time! (10-7)

2010-01-24T15:00:00.000-08:00

Follow the entire countdown right here!

Only four games today. Why? Well, because we want my favorite game of all time to have a post all its own. Trust me, it's gonna be OK.

No. 10 — Soul Calibur II

Genre: Fighting

Release: 2002

Platforms: Arcade, GameCube, PlayStation 2, Xbox

Kicking off the top ten is my favorite fighting game of all time, Soul Calibur II. The sequel to the fantastic Dreamcast fighting game, Soul Calibur II sported mind-blowing graphics, intuitive controls, and some of the best characters and move-sets of any fighting game ever. What really sets Soul Calibur II apart from its successors (III and IV) is its campaign mode, which is the best of the series. The game lacked the destructible environments of the Dead or Alive games and the violence of Mortal Kombat, but Soul Calibur II remains to this day the pinnacle of the genre. In terms of characters, I’ve always been partial to Cervantes and Siegfried / Nightmare.

No. 09 — Super Mario 64

Genre: Platform

Release: 1996

Platforms: Nintendo 64, iQue Player, Virtual Console

I remember so vividly seeing this game for the first time. I was in a Wal-Mart, of all places — likely dragged there by my mother on a shopping trip. I was only eight years old at the time, so I wasn’t “plugged-in” at the time. I’d heard rumors about the Nintendo 64, but I really didn’t know much about it. After all, I was a Sega kid. I played SNES only when my Uncle Mike came to visit and brought it along. But there it was, on display at Wal-Mart — the Nintendo 64. 64 bits of glorious, fully three-dimensional action; vivid greens and reds and expansive environments. As I clutched that oddly shaped controller with its analog stick in my hand for the very first time, something clicked. I knew, right then, that this would be a console to remember, and, more specifically, a game to remember. Super Mario 64 took what was great about the classic side-scrolling Mario games and dropped it into the most graphically advanced console at the time. Simple gameplay, interesting enemies, colossal levels, and, most importantly, a ton of fun.

No. 08 — Unreal Tournament 2004

Genre: First-Person Shooter

Release: 2004

Platforms: Microsoft Windows, Mac OS X, Linux

Now this? This is how you make a first-person shooter. Unreal Tournament 2004, the follow-up to Unreal Tournament 2003 and its prequel, the original Unreal Tournament (’99), is, at its core, the purest, most downright wickedly fun shooter of all time. The solo campaign is only the beginning — this game sports nearly a dozen different multiplayer modes, ranging from basic deathmatch, to capture the flag, to assault missions, and even a violent, football-esque game called Bombing Run. There were crazy vehicles, even crazier weapons, and solid A.I. to boot. Did I play the hell out of this game when it was released? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do I still play it today? You’d better believe it. Unreal Tournament 2k4 has yet to be equaled.

No. 07 — Total Annihilation

Genre: Real-Time Strategy

Release: 1997

Platforms: Microsoft Windows, Mac OS

The name of this game, Total Annihilation, suggests mindless violence. It brings to mind gore, explosions, and all-out, nonsensical battle. Some of that is true, yes — the most intense moments of classic genre-definer Total Annihilation are utter and complete chaos. But what the name doesn’t hint at is the deep and engrossing strategic gameplay that put Total Annihilation on the map and changed the way real-time strategy games were made. The graphics were alarmingly good. Hundreds of units might be on the screen at the same time, blasting away at each other, explosions blossoming across the battlefield. Badass, yes. The wars were colossal. But the fact remains: Total Annihilation was, and remains today, one of the most sophisticated games in the genre. Oh, and as a side-note, the game also features one of the best soundtracks in any game ever, composed by the infamous Jeremy Soule (the John Williams of video game soundtracks).

Follow the entire countdown right here!

Awesome Thing: Sword Practice

2010-01-23T00:32:00.000-08:00

Heeeeey. How did eBaum's get a hold of my video camera?

Hell, at least the guy's being active and getting fresh air. It's more than I can say for a lot of people.

R#09's Top 25 Video Games of All Time! (15-11)

2010-01-23T00:01:00.000-08:00

Follow the countdown right here!

No. 15 — Streets of Rage

Genre: Side-Scrolling Beat ‘Em Up

Release: 1991

Platforms: Sega Genesis, Sega Game Gear, Sega Master System, MegaPlay, Virtual Console, iPhone OS

Let me lay it out for you: Three police officers take to the streets (of rage). They don’t carry guns. Or tasers. Or even nightsticks. They carry their fists and their feet and their complete and utter disregard for safety. Now, these streets (of rage) are in utter chaos, teeming with low-life scum, crazy ladies with whips, and gigantic guys in denim vests carrying boomerangs. And these cops? The ones with the fists? They just start wrecking face. They begin at one end of the street (of rage) and wade through until they get to the end, throwing punks through phone booths, cracking heads open with pipes, and just generally being total badasses and playing by their own set of rules. That is the entire premise of Streets of Rage, and it remains to this day a testament to how awesome things truly can be when you’re punching people in the face without remorse.

No. 14 — Rock Band 2

Genre: Rhythm Game

Release: 2008

Platforms: Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PlayStation 2, Wii

When Harmonix announced Rock Band 2, not even a year had passed since the release of their smash-hit Rock Band, and fans were pissed — for about three seconds. You see, Harmonix followed that announcement up with a few addendums, including: 1) Rock Band 2 would be compatible will all Rock Band DLC — past, present, and future; 2) Rock Band 2 would allow owners of the previous game to export the on-disc songs to their hardrive, enabling them to play those songs in the sequel; 3) If you bought the game, Harmonix would send some free DLC your way; 4) It would be bigger, better, and improved in every conceivable way. The result? Only the single greatest rhythm game of all time. Suck it, Guitar Hero.

No. 13 — Metal Gear Solid

Genre: Stealth Action

Release: 1998

Platforms: PlayStation, PlayStation Network, PlayStation 3

Metal Gear Solid is another one of those games that my friends and I beat in one sitting, passing the controller over when one of us got too tired to keep our eyes open. This game, along with others like Syphon Filter, concretely defined what a stealth game could and should be — open environments, tons of crafty villains, and plenty of shadowy hiding places to huddle in. The game’s gruff protagonist, Solid Snake, remains one of my favorite video game characters of all time, and the cinematic style just can't be beat. The story is just insanely complex, in a very good way. And the boss fight with Psycho Mantis? Classic. Simply classic.

No. 12 — Star Fox 64

Genre: Rail Shooter / Space Simulator

Release: 1997

Platforms: Nintendo 64, iQue Player, Virtual Console

“Do a barrel roll!” Those infamous words, uttered by Fox McCloud’s copilot, Peppy Hare, perfectly sum up Star Fox 64, one of the most insanely fun and replayable console games out there. The game is a simple rail shooter — you pilot an Arwing, a state-of-the-art space fighter operated by the Star Fox mercenary force, through predetermined paths on various planets throughout the Lylat System. You dodge obstacles, shoot down enemy aircraft, and do battle with epic end-level bosses, all of whom take great pleasure in mocking you as you blast them into space dust. What really sets Star Fox 64 apart from the rest of the pack, though, is its replay-value — the multitude of different paths that can be taken to the final battle with Andross offers players the opportunity of a completely different gameplay experience every time. Oh, and the multiplayer was awesome too.

No. 11 — Age of Empires II: The Age of Kings

Genre: Real-Time Strategy

Release: 1999

Platforms: Windows, Mac OS, PlayStation 2

Just missing out on the top ten is Age of Empires II, another genre-definer. Players select one of a couple dozen cultures and bring them through the ages of ancient and medieval history, beginning as little more than foragers with spears, and ultimately reaching the peak of medieval advancement with troops like longbowmen and trebuchets. The game was conquest, yes — but it was also politics and economy, with resources that needed managing, and allies and enemies that needed appeasing (or butt-kicking, but you get the idea). The game was balanced, strategic, and just downright fun. I have many fond memories of epic, late-night battles on this game with friends over LAN.

Follow the countdown right here!

So long, Coco

2010-01-22T23:42:00.001-08:00

Your reign will be forever remembered.

Are card games immortal?

2010-01-22T23:17:00.000-08:00

Reposted from The Mast.

Walking into a backroom trading card game tournament, one asks oneself two questions: The first is, “What are all of these people doing here?” The second is inevitably, “Why does it seem like a majority of them don’t regularly bathe?”

The answer to the first: They’re playing a trading card game, which are still just as popular as they were in their ‘90s heyday. The answer to the second question is, unfortunately, just as elusive as it was then.

Card appeal

A trading card game (TCG), interchangeably referred to as a collectible card game (CCG) or customizable card game, is a strategy game played using specially designed sets of playing cards, which are collected, traded, bought and sold like so much currency. Players acquire the cards—which they need in order to build a well-balanced and strategically sound deck—by purchasing pre-made decks, booster packs of randomly assorted cards and even individual, high-value cards (known as “singles”). The TCG has worked so well for so long because it combines the appeal of collecting with strong strategic gameplay.

“It’s a fun way to have social interaction,” senior Tyler Gubsch said. Gubsch is a member of PLU’s “Magic: The Gathering” Club. “And it allows people to enjoy collecting things.”

The modern concept of the TCG was first seen with 1993s “Magic: The Gathering,” designed by Richard Garfield and published by the now infamous Wizards of the Coast (current license owners of “Dungeons and Dragons”). However, “Magic” is not considered to be the first example of a TCG— that distinction belongs to the “Baseball Card Game,” produced by The Allegheny Card Co. in 1904, nearly a century before “Magic” hit the scene.

Magic touch

Today, there are three dominating titles in the realm of TCGs: “Magic: The Gathering,” “Yu-Gi-Oh” and “Legend of the Five Rings.” “Magic” is arguably the most popular and longest-lived of its genre. It was the first, is still considered by many to be the best and is often the game that pushes the envelope when it comes to rule changes and new sets of cards. “Magic” puts the player in the role of a “Planeswalker,” a wizard who is able to summon vicious creatures and cast powerful spells. The cards in the game represent these creatures and spells, which the player uses to deplete his opponent’s “life points.”

“I play because my friends play,” Gubsch said.

Every popular TCG follows the core mechanics of “Magic,” with varying degrees of mechanical and aesthetic differences and rule complexity.

Easy to play, easy to hate

“Yu-Gi-Oh,” popular among younger players and, oddly enough, lonely middle-aged guys, is second only to “Magic” in its popularity, which has been constant since the debut of “Yu-Gi-Oh” on U.S. soil in 2002. “Yu-Gi-Oh” is both loved and hated amongst tabletop gamers. Its simple strategy, ease and quickness of play and accessibility to younger gamers are often cited as strengths. Critics counter that the game is too simple (to the point of being inane), the artwork is redundant and the cards are too steeply overpriced (effectively creating an ad hoc market too easily swayed pre-teens who absolutely must have the first-edition foil version of a certain card to round out their decks).

If you’re wondering, I tend to (read: do) sway towards hating the game.

Graceful complication

Possibly most respected in the genre is “Legend of the Five Rings” (“L5R”), a game that has maintained a devoted cult following since its debut in 1995. The game is set in the fictional empire of Rokugan, which is loosely based on feudal Japan. The game is a sophisticated blend of destructive and passive victories, with its mechanics often being described as “gracefully complicated.” Matches can last considerably longer than those of other TCGs—a typical game runs about 45 minutes but can easily yawn into hours.

However, what many fans adore about “L5R,” and what makes the game so unique and innovative, is the story and mythology behind the cards. Stories advancing the overarching plot of Rokugan are published on a weekly basis. More stories are released quarterly in a publication known as the Imperial Herald. Many of these fictional developments reflect the results of tournaments, where matches between the clans of Rokugan will determine which faction will claim a particular victory or prize. It is this ingrained sense of reaction and consequence that keeps players with the game—many of them for a decade or more.

Defying the odds

There are other successful TCGs out there: “Duel Masters,” “Chaotic,” “Dragonball” and, yes, kids still play “Pokémon.” But few TCGs can even come close to touching the popularity or player bases of “Magic,” “Yu-Gi-Oh” and “L5R.” Despite the stigmas, misconceptions and a general lack of exposure, TCGs are more popular now than ever.

Wizards of the Coast claims that more than six million people actively play “Magic: The Gathering.” Half a million players annually compete in high-profile national tournaments. More than 1,000 players from 57 countries showed up in Memphis in December 2008 for the World Championship Tournament. Every Friday, hundreds of thousands compete in Friday Night Magic (FNM) tournaments across the country. “Yu-Gi-Oh” is not far behind “Magic” in sheer number of players, while “Legend of the Five Rings” chugs along resiliently, dancing to the beat of a different drum and keeping its core players happy and satisfied.

Quips about body odor and personal hygiene aside, the trading card game is miraculously alive and well; not just surviving, but thriving, even in this digital age of ours. On the surface, trading card games essentially amount to players sliding overpriced pieces of paper across a table—and that is how they often appear to outsiders, who are typically baffled, confused and somewhat horrified to see so many people (many of them fully mature adults) participating in what they perceive to be a monumental waste of time and resources.

Look deeper, though. You will find a thriving community of strategists and builders. One finds rivalry, camaraderie and, in some cases, very real storytelling. And I don’t mean to overstate the value of trading card games—they are, at the end of the day, simply overpriced collections of paper. On the other hand, TCGs are not the bottom of the nerd totem, as so many seem to think. They are not devoid of intellectuality or intelligence. Believe it or not, there is ingenuity to be had in this gaming sub-culture, provided you simply seek it out.

R#09's Top 25 Video Games of All Time! (20-16)

2010-01-22T00:01:00.000-08:00

Follow the entire countdown right here!

Alright, folks. Here's the next five entries in my favorite video games of all time countdown! Look for 15-11 on Saturday.

No. 20 — Pokémon (Red / Blue)

Genre: Role-Playing Game

Release: 1996

Platforms: Game Boy

Admit it: you spent many, many countless hours hunched over your Game Boy, roaming the wilds for that elusive Pokémon you just couldn’t nab, training hard to beat all the gym leaders, overcome the tyranny of Team Rocket, and collect all 151 of the little guys. You still have neck problems today from craning over this thing. Admit it! Even if you weren’t into the out-of-control phenomenon that Pokémon was when we were kids, you have to realize that the games were legitimately good. I owned Blue Version as a kid, and I couldn’t get enough of it. I drained my Game Boy’s batteries on countless one-sitting occasions. Addictive? Yeah. And did it bring out my OCD compulsions? Yes. But was it fun? Oh yeah. It sure was (and still is, I’ll admit).

No. 19 — Star Wars – Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II

Genre: First-Person Shooter

Release: 1997

Platforms: Windows

I’ve probably clocked more hours with Dark Forces II than I have with literally any other FPS out there, current or classic. The sequel to the Doom-esque Dark Forces, Jedi Knight puts you in the shoes of Rebel agent Kyle Katarn, who, through the course of the game, realizes his Force potential and trains to become a Jedi Knight. The game was a good shooter with tight gameplay and sweet graphics, sure — but the real joy came from hacking away at Stormtroopers with a lightsaber and Force-pushing Trandoshans around. I beat this game more times than I care to remember, and still dust it off from time to time. I mean, come on — this game brought me that much close to fulfilling my dream of becoming a Jedi. What’s not to love?

No. 18 — Sonic the Hedgehog

Genre: Platformer

Release: 1991

Platforms: Mega Drive / Genesis, iPod, iPhone OS, Virtual Console, Game Boy Advance, Xbox Live Arcade

Alright, so the Sega Genesis didn’t have blast processing like they claimed in the early ‘90s (what the hell does blast processing even mean?), but the console did sport the fastest thing around: Sonic the Hedgehog. He was blue, he had red sneakers, he was a hedgehog, and he could run fast — really, really fast. Speeding through the levels at breakneck speed was job one in this game, and its intensity and innovative level design have yet to be rivaled. The ‘90s were an extreme time — there was Surge and Pearl Jam and Ninja Turtles. Sonic fit right in — an extreme hero for our extreme childhoods.

No. 17 — Advance Wars

Genre: Turn-Based Strategy

Release: 2001

Platforms: Game Boy Advance

I loved my Game Boy Advance — I still do, in fact. If my Game Boy Advance had been a pet, I would have smothered it with love until it curled up and died. It was like holding a Super Nintendo in your hands, and it really just did not get better than that. Advance Wars, a turn-based tactics game, was my favorite game on the console, and still remains a regular contender in my roster of games I play. The game was simple, elegant, and masterfully designed. Gameplay was intuitive and the difficulty ramp was steep, but not too steep. I beat this one probably two or three times and then continued playing on the versus maps long afterward. Maybe the best feature of the game? The map editor.

No. 16 — Halo 2

Genre: First-Person Shooter

Release: 2004

Platforms: Xbox, Windows

The day Halo 2 came out, I did not stop smiling for probably seven hours. And even then, the only reason I stopped smiling was because we ran out of pizza (traumatizing, I know). We had two TVs, two Xboxes, and two fresh copies of Halo 2 still smelling of cellophane. The game improved upon its processor in so many ways, and still managed to keep the core of the game alive, something Halo 3 kinda sucked at. Of the trilogy, Halo 2 remains my favorite, and my high school buddies and I got together fairly regular to school each other over system link. Oh, and about that cliffhanger ending — suck it up and quit whining, n00bs. I thought it rocked.

Follow the entire countdown right here!

Awesome Thing: Steampunk Gameboy

2010-01-21T19:48:00.000-08:00

Those who know me well will attest to my absolute love of all things steampunk. deviantART denizen Thretris has combined my passion for steampunk and my love of gaming with his Steampunk Gameboy. Too cool for words.

Conan O'Brien's Most Expensive Comedy Sketch Ever

2010-01-21T15:43:00.000-08:00

As a big, metaphorical finger to NBC as he departs, late night host (and personal hero of mine) Conan O'Brien is cramming as many expensive comedy sketches into the Tonight Show as he can before his final episode this coming Friday. The story is that NBC has to foot the bill to any and all sketches done on the Tonight Show.

From Media ITE:

Remember Conan O’Brien’s $1.5 million comedy sketch/up yours to NBC involving a Bugatti Veyron and The Rolling Stones’ “Satisfaction” last night?

Well if you missed it, you won’t find it on NBC.com or Hulu.com, because NBC has removed the segment from the show. It will certainly save them some money. But you can still watch it here!

“We can do whatever we want, and they have to pay for it,” O’Brien said in introducing the sketch. And later, while describing the reason for playing the Stones’ “Satisfaction,” he said, “Is it crazy expensive to play on the air, not to mention the rights to re-air this clip on the internet? Hell yes!”

HI-LARIOUS. Check out the clip below. And go Team Coco!

R#09's Top 25 Video Games of All Time! (25-21)

2010-01-21T13:10:00.000-08:00

Follow all of my favorite video games right here!

This is by no means a definitive list of the greatest video games of all time. No, not by a long shot. These are simply the games that I, personally, enjoy playing the most. Many of them are games I grew up playing, some I still play regularly today — and still others are more recent favorites. But rest assured, these are some of the greats — the games that have no equals.

I compiled this list out of boredom, mostly, but also because I’ve been wanting to do something like this for a while. I’ve been reminiscing a lot lately about the classics and about the games of my early life. I suppose that was the inspiration for this.

I will be posting this as a series of entries, tackling five games a day for the next week or so. The final post will be my favorite game of all time, along with a lengthy list of honorable mentions. Check back often for updates!

Enjoy and, please, by all means, discuss!

No. 25 — Columns

Genre: Puzzle

Release: 1990

Platforms: Arcade, TurboGrafx-16, Sega Master System, Mega Drive / Genesis, Sega CD, Game Gear, Super Nintendo, Game Boy Color, Virtual Console, NEC PC-9801, MSX 2, iPhone OS

Tetris? Screw Tetris! Alright, so that might be a bit harsh. But seriously, when I was a wee lad, I never played Tetris. Columns was where it was at. I was raised on Genesis, you see. I wasn’t an SNES kid like everyone else on my block. So when it came to puzzle games, Columns reigned supreme. Besides, Columns was faster, more difficult, and just downright more intense than Tetris or many of the other puzzle games popular at the time. I still play this classic puzzler from time to time, and I’m always amazed by how unfailingly intricate it is. This is a tough one to beat, but a classic nonetheless.

No. 24 — Final Fantasy VII

Genre: Role-Playing Game

Release: 1997

Platforms: PlayStation, Windows, PlayStation Network

Of course this is on here. Could I even pretend to call myself an RPG fan and not include FFVII? I mean, yeah, its reputation is a little bloated, and people do tend to go a little gaga over it, but the hard fact remains: FFVII is a genre-definer. It’s one of the first games I remember with truly stunning cinematics, and definitely set the stage for the future of storytelling in video games. Nothing like FFVII had been done before — the plot was intricate and beautiful, and there were very real stakes placed on the player’s shoulders. One of my fondest memories as a kid was staying up for almost two days straight playing this game over at a friends house on his PlayStation.

No. 23 — Star Wars: TIE Fighter

Genre: Space Flight Simulator

Release: 1994

Platforms: DOS, Macintosh

You know, back in the day, LucasArts knew how to make a damn good game. In 1994, they released probably the best space flight simulator of all time, a little game called Star Wars: TIE Fighter. The sequel to Star Wars: X-Wing, TIE Fighter revolutionized flight sims and put you smack dab in the cockpit of the Galactic Empire’s most infamous spacecraft. The graphics at the time were fairly mind-blowing as well, and the game still holds its own against more modern flight sims. It’s successors, X-Wing v.s. TIE-Fighter and X-Wing Alliance, weren’t too bad either, and got plenty of hours of play on my computer.

No. 22 — Shenmue

Genre: Adventure

Release: 1999

Platforms: Dreamcast

The Dreamcast, bless its heart, died a needless and early death. Let’s be honest — the console freakin’ rocked, but nobody knew that because they were too busy drooling over their PlayStations and high-fiving each other about Grand Turismo. Not to knock the PlayStation, but it did overshadow the defenseless Dreamcast, and ultimately spelled doom for Sega as a console-designer. In any case, I owned a Dreamcast, believe it or not, and amongst its killer titles was an innovative adventure game called Shenmue. In the game, you took the role of Ryo, a young martial artist, who is searching for the truth behind his father’s murder (a tale that would eventually span two games). The game was akin to the old point-and-click adventure games, such as Day of the Tentacle, with Ryo traveling around his hometown, picking up clues, doing odd-jobs, and delving deeper and deeper into the mysteries of his father’s murder. Cheesy voice-acting aside, this one is easily a genre classic.

No. 21 — StarCraft

Genre: Real-Time Strategy

Release: 1998

Platforms: Windows, Mac OS, Nintendo 64

Before Blizzard hit the jackpot with World of Warcraft, they were busy punching babies and making kickass games like Warcraft II, Diablo, and one of my personal favorites, StarCraft. I’m a huge RTS fan, and StarCraft was one of the first to introduce drastically different armies that were somehow completely balanced with one another. The Zerg were fast and brutal; the Protoss were methodical, thorough, and powerful; while the Terrans floated somewhere in between with their gruff marines and hoverbikes. I’m rubbish at the game — truly terrible. I just get wrecked on BattleNet. But the game is still enjoyable as hell, and I can’t wait for StarCraft II.

Follow all of my favorite video games right here!

Facebook, Twitter anyone?

2010-01-21T12:29:00.000-08:00

Hey folks. Just thought I'd make a quick post to inform you all that Rocket Number 09 is on both Facebook and Twitter, and that if you have either of these things, you should definitely subscribe, follow, become a fan of, etc. It's an easy way to keep up with the blog without needing to check the site everyday. I update both pages regularly (especially my Twitter), so check 'em out! The more the merrier.

Also, several big posts on the way, including my top 25 video games of all time. Expect that in the next few days!

Drop everything you're doing: man only gets one cheese ring

2010-01-20T11:38:00.000-08:00

Call all the relief workers out of Haiti. Alert President Obama, tell him the Massachusetts thing can wait. Pull all combat troops out of Iraq and Afghanistan. PANIC. Why? Because some dude opened a bag of cheese rings and only found ONE.

Yep, ONE measly cheese ring. What the hell is this world coming too?

The most awesome thing ever

2010-01-19T22:06:00.000-08:00

I had a dream once. In it, a large ship was breaking through the frozen ice of the north. This ship awoke a giant, hibernating polar bear, which shattered its icy prison and exacted its vengeance on the helpless crew with a hockey stick made of pure lightning. The polar bear then hopped in a jet and blew up the planet.

Oh, wait, that wasn't a dream. It actually happened.

EDIT: Video has been removed. Why? My only guess is that it was just. Too. Awesome.

Has Spider-Man found its director and lead?

2010-01-19T18:21:00.000-08:00

Well, yeah, according to movie megasite Latino Review.

Vulture can report that Sony will imminently announce a deal with (500) Days of Summer director Marc Webb to direct not one, but three Spider-Man movies in a rebooted franchise that will focus far more on the private life of Peter Parker.

Webb, whose (500) Days scored a Golden Globe nomination and whose name seems to have predestined him for this job, has long been a favorite of Columbia chairman Amy Pascal. We're told that last year she very nearly hired him to direct the adaptation of Michael Lewis’s Moneyball after she pulled the plug on Steven Soderbergh three days before shooting. She ultimately chose Bennett Miller (Capote), thinking that Moneyball might be hurt by Webb's whimsical style, but she views him as a latter-day Cameron Crowe for the economically and socially angsty Generation Y, and thinks he'd be perfect to explore the conflict within Parker.

Alright, so Webb is locked in. But what about our new teenage Peter Parker?

The second piece of news is more rumor than anything. Aceshowbiz.com is reporting that Jim Sturgess, who made waves in "Across the Universe", is in the running for the role of Peter Parker. Ok, I'm sure he looks like Peter Parker, but if they're going back to high school with the character, then don't cast a 28 year old actor to play the part. I know Tobey was old, but he was already established in the role and his character had grown over the three films.

I have to agree on this point. Sturgess is way too old to pull off a high school nerd. I don't know. This whole reboot business is just ... stupid to me. I'll keep an eye on developments, but consider this comic book nerd wary.

Never microwave your wine

2010-01-19T16:02:00.001-08:00

I'm glad I saw this. I had a box of white wine about two minutes into a microwave cycle.

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

The Birds

2010-01-19T15:31:00.000-08:00

Note: This was posted to my Facebook a couple of months ago. Thought I'd repost here for my blog readers. Enjoy.

The events described herein are true.

Last week, I took a trip to McDonald's, as I sometimes do. Hunger had struck me on my commute and I wanted something cheap and fast. Zipping through the drive-through, I ordered a 10-piece Chicken McNugget ® combo meal with a Diet Coke ® and a side of ranch for dipping. Being in a hurry (I had class later that day), I ate alone in my car. I typically don't like eating in my car — I get claustrophobic. I also feel cripplingly lame and lonely eating alone in a parked vehicle. But that's beside the point, because now, claustrophobia and loneliness are the least of my worries.

Pigeons.

As I parked my car and dug into the greasy, fried goodness, I noticed absently that there was quite a number of pigeons milling about the mostly deserted parking lot. They wandered around, bobbing their heads back and forth in that weird, pigeon-y way. A couple of them even got into a tussle, which was entertaining to watch for a while as I munched on fries. But it wasn't long before the pigeons noticed me — more specifically, it wasn't long before the pigeons noticed I was eating food, alone and defenseless.

They closed in.

At first, a group of about four or five of the pigeons gathered around the driver's side door of my '93 Toyota Corolla. I stole a sidelong glance at the birds and, with a pang of panic, noticed two things:

1) These pigeons were staring at me.

2) These pigeons were not normal-looking pigeons.

Bloated and horrific from a diet of what I can only assume consisted mainly of discarded french fries and ketchup packets, these pigeons had mutated into something else. Their bodies were grotesquely huge, threatening to swallow their necks. They hobbled when they walked, as if their pencil-thin legs weren't built to carry such a load. No, I realized, these birds were not of this plane of existence. They were bred on grease and now they craved it.

They craved it. And I had it.

I regarded the cardboard box of nuggets before me — the odd, boot-like shape of them; the sad little puddle of ranch. Outside, more birds had gathered. There were at least a dozen outside now — standing, staring. Those little red eyes bore ceaselessly into me. I grew increasingly uncomfortable. By the minute, more came. It wasn't long before 20 birds had assembled outside my car door. And then, one landed on the hood of my car. It stood outside the windshield, cocked its head, and stared at me.

I have never been afraid of birds at any point in my life. But believe me when I say that it was like I was living Alfred Hitchcock's film right then. They were everywhere. Another car passed by, missing the pigeons by mere inches, and the stupid beasts didn't even try to move out of the way, so focused were they on me and my fast food-y goodness. The people in the car stared with wide eyes as I heard little talons scraping the roof of my car.

I started my car.

The birds didn't budge.

I honked the horn once. Twice.

They. Didn't. Move.

At this point, I was in full panic mode. Visions of the birds pecking at the windshield until they shattered the glass and piled in, devouring me and my meal, ran through my mind. I set my unfinished meal on the seat beside me, pulled the car into drive, and inched forward. The fat birds in front of my car limped out of the way, taking their sweet time, never taking their eyes off of me. The one of the hood of my car remained there.

As I cleared the mob, I floored it, screaming across the empty lot. The bird on the hood stumbled, lost its balance, and took flight, struggling to carry its immense weight into the air. In my rear-view mirror, the birds watched me go. In my mind, they said Next time, Click. And then I saw them turn around and walk, collectively, towards the nearest occupied vehicle.

I drove away then as fast as I could.

UPDATE: I have since gone to this same McDonald's one more time, eating in the parking lot again to see if the pigeons would again appear. Sure enough, they descended upon my car almost instantly. I no longer eat in the parking lot of this particular establishment.

Badass of the Week: Anderson Cooper

2010-01-19T14:14:00.000-08:00

A new feature here on R#09, Badass of the Week allows me to select one person who, through words or actions, has done something really cool and instilled themselves, in my mind, as a true badass. We kick off this week (Jan. 18 - Jan. 24) with our first Badass of the Week, Anderson Cooper.

Yesterday, Anderson Cooper reiterated to me something very important that too many U.S. journalists forego nowadays in favor of ratings — humanity. Cooper and his crew, who have been in Haiti covering the disaster relief and rescue operations in the wake of the devastating earthquake there, found themselves amidst a violent outbreak of looting yesterday, and Cooper jumped in to save a young boy who had been struck in the head with a block of concrete.

From Cooper's blog:

I saw him collapse. More chunks of concrete were being thrown at the looters on the roof. The injured boy couldn't get up. He'd try and then collapse again. Blood was pouring from his head. He was conscious but had no control over his body. I was afraid someone on the roof would see him lying there and throw another cinder block piece onto him. I was afraid he'd get killed. No one seemed to be helping him.

I ran to where he was struggling, and picked him up off the ground. I brought him to a spot about a hundred feet away. I could feel his warm blood on my arms. I stood him up, but he was clearly unable to walk. He wiped his bloody face, and I tried to reassure him. He had no idea where he was, and he clearly couldn't walk, so I picked him up again and handed him over to someone behind that makeshift barricade. Tony, the American businessman, gave the boy a wet towel. He was then taken away by someone else. We don't know what happened to him.

I hope he's OK.

And that, Anderson Cooper, is why you're not only one of my favorite journalists working today, but also my pick for Badass of the Week. Keep up the good work over there.

'Eli' has action, heart

2010-01-19T13:44:00.000-08:00

The post-apocalyptic future of “The Book of Eli” is, like so many other post-apocalyptic futures, a depressing and dismal place. The land is scorched and barren, more desert now than anything else. Water, bullets, and gasoline are commodities, and roving bands of dirty, be-goggled biker gangs roam the wastes, waylaying travelers and generally being violent, Mad Max-esque vagrants.

Denzel Washington plays the titular character lugging his titular book across the arid wasteland of this post-fallout America. Eli has been wandering for 30 years, steadily working his way west, where he believes the book will be safe. Guided by his own staunch faith in the book, Eli doesn’t stray often. But he finds himself in a poor, dusty village, where the local mayor / crime lord, Carnegie (the enigmatic Gary Oldman), takes a special interest in Eli and his unique book.

Shot masterfully by director of photography Don Burgess, and directed by the Hughes Brothers, Allen and Albert, “The Book of Eli” is a film that truly transports the viewer. It creates an illusion so vivid and real, that one can’t help but be drawn into it. It utilizes muted grays, browns, and oranges to paint its world, producing a style all its own.

The action is top-notch and shot dynamically with clear, concise shots and some fancy camerawork to boot. In one scene, the audience moves between two sides of a shootout, handheld camera shaking slightly in the style of an embedded journalist in a warzone. And yet, “The Book of Eli” is refreshingly devoid of the insane camera angles and confusing pans and zooms that plague the modern action films that Michael Bay might helm.

Performances are fantastic all around, from Washington’s stoic Eli, to Oldman’s raging Carnegie. Mila Kunis manages well enough beside her veteran costars, and there’s a few memorable cameo performances from the likes of Tom Waits and Michael Gambon.

“The Book of Eli” drags in spots, its plot meandering at times much like its pilgrimaging protagonist. But all in all, it offers a well-made sci-fi action film with a soul.

Man vs. Toddler

2009-12-03T02:53:00.000-08:00

"Somebody teach that kid to do sh*t."

See more funny videos and Funny Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Holiday Movies to Get Pumped About

2009-12-01T01:04:00.001-08:00

I talk about three films I'm anticipating and why you should be excited too.

Holiday Movies to Get Pumped About from Matt Click on Vimeo.

Video Review: Paranormal Activity

2009-11-29T01:02:00.000-08:00

I share my thoughts on the horror film Paranormal Activity and talk about the downsides of CGI. Please excuse all the "umms" and the "uhhs" and the awkward ending. Leave your feedback below!

R#09 Video Review: Paranormal Activity from Matt Click on Vimeo.

To non-Rock-Band-owners: now you have no excuse

2009-10-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

That's right: everything you need to play, plus Rock Band 2, for $79 and free shipping. I guess they finally found a use for all of those surplus peripherals laying around. If you don't own Rock Band, for shame. Redeem yourself now with this crazy awesome offer.

Check out the deal here.

Meeting Ken Scholes

2009-10-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

Monumental nerd and fantasy / sci-fi author Ken Scholes stopped by the Garfield Book Company in Parkland this evening. Aside from being a badass of an author, Scholes is also a self-confessed D&D nerd and a lover of Firefly. I'm in the middle of his first novel, Lamentation, which is an amazing blend of fantasy and science-fiction. Scholes was a totally laid-back guy who walked around before his reading and schook hands with each member of the audience, personally introducing himself and even remembering everyone's names for the signing later on.

Scholes gave some great advice to everyone, but it almost seemed, at times, like he was speaking directly to me. About that little critical voice that every writer has, Scholes said, "Shut the f*ck up and write."

Check out Scholes' website and definitely give Lamentation and its sequel, Cantical, a read.

...

2009-10-14T13:25:00.001-07:00

Amid the dust-layered posts of Rocket Number 09, a lone figure strides. Cobwebs collect in the corners and a musty silence reigns. The figure tries the lights, but the switch clicks on and off uselessly. The figure clears its throat. God, but I miss this place.

The figure leaves a note: BRB.

And then leaves.

Trailer online for Dr. Parnassus

2009-08-09T21:44:00.000-07:00

The trailer for The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, Heath Ledger's final film, is online. It's a Terry Gilliam picture, brimming with his trademark whimsy and underlying creepiness. Tom Waits, Johnny Depp, and a stable of other big names star along with Ledger. Looks fairly intriguing.

MyBypassSurgery — Help save a life

2009-08-07T01:09:00.000-07:00

Hello friends. I have a favor to ask. My very good friend, Jake K.M. Paikai, is facing a very real, very scary health crisis. You see, Jake is morbidly obese, and his weight, and the numerous health risks that lie therein, are catching up to him. He needs $60,000 for a gastric bypass procedure. And while this seems like an unattainable sum, especially for somebody without health insurance, Jake is a legitimately amazing person, and as such, he is using his story as a way to raise money for himself and for others like him struggling with morbid obesity. He's launched MyBypassSurgery and is accepting donations now. Please, for my friend Jake and others like him, visit and consider donating to his cause.

I just donated $22. It might sound selfish, but I'm not just doing this for my friend Jake — I'm doing it for my own benefit. You see, because Jake is an amazing person in my life. And he needs to continue to be. He is someone who has been there for me in some hard times, and someone who has helped me immensely in achieving things I did not think were possible. In some ways, I'm just returning the favor. I know for a fact Jake would donate for me — I know for a fact that Jake would do anything to help save my life.

And so how can I say no to donating just $22? Why not $44? $88?

I should do everything in my power to help my friend Jake. Because I want him to continue working within my life.

Think about a person in your life whom you want to keep around — somebody who is maybe facing a deadly health risk. Is there somebody facing a health risk — diabetes, heart disease, others? — caused by obesity? Think about them, and then donate. Please donate and help my friend Jake. Donate to help everyone in this country and in our world struggling with morbid obesity. We can all help to beat this. Thank you.

Filmmaker John Hughes passes away at 59

2009-08-06T17:17:00.000-07:00

Iconic filmmaker John Hughes, whose teen-oriented dramatic comedies provided a cinematic voice for the '80s, died today of cardiac arrest. Full story here.

He will be sorely missed. Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sixteen Candles, and Planes, Trains, and Automobiles have to be some of my favorite comedies of all time.

Phillips, Scott to take over At the Movies

2009-08-05T19:11:00.000-07:00

Rejoice!

A year after its extreme makeover of "At the Movies" went over like "Heaven's Gate," Disney's ABC Media Productions said Wednesday it is overhauling the Chicago-based syndicated TV program yet again in hopes of reconnecting with its respected past.

Gone are Ben Lyons of E! Entertainment Television and Ben Mankiewicz of Turner Classic Movies, the cable hosts Disney chose last summer to front what it called "the next generation of the series," in favor of a return to dueling newspaper film critics, Michael Phillips of the Chicago Tribune and A.O. Scott of the New York Times.

Thank the Powers That Be! Finally, some professionals who know what they're talking about. No more of Mankiewicz's blabbering, and I hope to never look upon the demonic visage of Ben Lyons as long as I shall live. I loved Phillips' and Scott's stints in Ebert's stead with Richard Roeper, so here's to hoping the best show about movies stays the best show about movies! Updates as they are needed.

The Great Trashing: On YouTube!

2009-08-05T00:02:00.000-07:00

For those folks having trouble with the embedded Vimeo, here's the Great Trashing in three parts courtesy of YouTube. Also, send these along to your friends. The hits have not been as high as I would have hoped, due to my extended hiatus. If you know anyone that might find Trailer Trashing funny (or even charming), pass it along. I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks for everything, folks.

The Great Trashing: Drug Addiction

2009-08-02T22:59:00.000-07:00

The Great Trashing: Drug Addiction from Matt Click on Vimeo.

A heartwarming 1951 tale of Marty Demelon, drug addict.

Here it is! Finally completed, after endless procrastination, months of writing, and countless hours recording, editing, and polishing, the Great Trashing is done. Here it is, in all of its glory. I hope you all enjoy hearing your jokes as much as I enjoyed recording them. This has been a great experience for me, and I cannot tell you enough how much I appreciate each and every one of you that submitted and helped make this possible. I could not have done it without you.

A huge shoutout to those who submitted. You are all official Trashers now!

Danny Canham
Damian Geminder
Kolby Harvey
Sarah Kelly
Katina Mathieson
Jonathan Murphy
Jake K.M. Paikai
Andy Riggins
Jessica Ritchie

Great Trashing coming soon!

2009-08-02T21:42:00.001-07:00

Putting the finishing touches on the Great Trashing now. Expect it soon!

Arcane Legions reviews make the rounds

2009-08-01T02:32:00.001-07:00

Reviews are cropping up online for Arcane Legions. The demos have been shipped to retailers, and yours truly has his hands on a copy. I will be play-testing this weekend, with a review to follow shortly. The best and most thorough review comes courtesy of Trask over at LivingDice. He seems to echo some of my early sentiments, just in my little experience with the game (which includes assembling the army and reading the rules a few times over). Common complaints seem to be lengthy set-up of the miniatures, and an overall lack of quality in the miniatures themselves.

While I definitely feel that the Arcane Legions minis aren't up the quality of higher-priced fair such as Warhammer 40k, I would argue that the miniatures aren't bad. Rather, they're quite good for the price. And for $35, you're getting over a hundred minis. I'm not complaining. Honestly, the price is right.

However, I do hope the guys over at Wells Expeditions heed these early reviews and take note: Work on the quality of the minis, leave less work for the consumer, and please, for God's sake, print the serial numbers clearly on the bottom of the minis!

My review will be up early next week! In the meantime, sit tight, and look for the Great Trashing, online this weekend!

IT IS FINISHED!

2009-07-29T01:35:00.000-07:00

That's right, folks. The final script for the Great Trashing is done. Finished. After months, it is finally, officially, completely done. Recording starts tomorrow, and expect to see the finished product, the fruits of our labor, online this weekend!

Thanks to all who participated, and look forward to hearing your jokes and seeing your names in the Great Trashing this weekend!

Arcane Legions to revolutionize miniature gaming

2009-07-28T20:25:00.000-07:00

Miniature gaming has never quite broken into the mainstream, and for good reason. The time, money, and effort required typically turns casual gamers away. Warhammer 40k and HeroScape, arguably the two most well known products of the genre, both have their fair share of issues. Warhammer is time-consuming and downright costly, with even the smallest units costing upwards of $20. HeroScape, though admittedly cheaper and more accesible to younger and more casual gamers, is too simple in its mechanics to offer strategists much to go on.

WizKids, a company sadly no longer in existence, sought to bridge this gap years ago with games like Mage Knight and HeroClix, two amazing ventures into collectable miniatures. Mage Knight was the forerunner — its miniatures were pre-painted, highly detailed, affordable, and sported handy dials on their bases that tracked health, damage, and special abilities. HeroClix carried on the tradition, allowing players to pit their favorite superheroes against one another.

Sadly, the games didn't last, and WizKids became no more. And since then, the genre of miniature gaming has grown cold.

But now, the guys from WizKids are back, and they're releasing a new, state-of-the-art miniatures game called Arcane Legions. This game seeks to bring miniatures gaming back into the mainstream with affordable, playable miniatures that strike a perfect balance between accesibility and complexity.

In the year 42BCE, a mysterious magical force was unleashed upon an unsuspecting world. The miasmic shockwave of pure otherworldly magic spread outward from a point somewhere in the middle east, and in a few short hours plunged the entire globe into chaos. In those terrible moments, human civilization changed forever.

Magic infused their very bones, manifested in their children, came unbidden to the fingertips of their women, and plagued their countryside in uncontrolled bursts of power. Ordinary beasts of the wilderness were turned by these bursts into fanciful creatures of legend. Entire tribes of humans from all corners of the world were altered by the flood of uncontrolled magic, changing before the very eyes of their friends and neighbors into elves, dwarves, orcs, trolls, centaurs, and even minotaurs. Creatures that normally existed between our reality and others were shunted into this one, leaving ghosts, faeries, and other magical creatures stranded in our world in ways they were never intended to be. Even remnants of the Old World, gods of the ancients and their ken, were awakened from their immortal slumber through this great cataclysm to trouble mankind once more.

The world had changed forever.

The year is now 37BCE and the middle-east sits at the center of a vast struggle to control humanity’s fate. Three powerful nations have harnessed the power unleashed by the day of chaos, and they struggle to claim dominance over the known world. Their arcane legions are now yours to control.

The setting is unique enough — ancient factions battling for supremacy in a magic-infused world. But it's the gameplay that really strikes a chord with me. It was after I looked into this game that my ears perked up — this could be something big.

The game's press release details the mechanics and marketing of the game:

If you ever wondered what happened to the guys from WizKids just take a look at this game and you will know what they have been doing with the downtime after WizKids closed their doors.

Players each field "bases" of variable sizes (Sortie/small and Formation/large) with individual figures inserted into starting positions on the base. The goal is to control victory point areas and inflict losses on the opponent. Movement and battle resolution are conducted through a unique formation management mechanic that allows players to move figures around on the unit bases to increase either movement/melee/ranged combat at the cost of losing capabilities in the other areas.

Currently wrapping up playtesting as of May 2009. Arcane Legions will be available in September of 2009. Initially, look for 3 different factions (Egyptians, Romans, and Han Dynasty).

Figures are highly detailed true 25mm made from PVC 105. Common figures are unpainted with colored tempo prints on banners and shields, while all the uncommon, rare and Commander figures (Booster Pack contents) are fully pre-painted. The game is designed to use both types. There are 9 different unpainted common figures for each faction and at least 20 different fully painted premium figures for each faction. If you buy a legion bundle of a faction you receive around 70 prepainted figures, whereas buying one of each army pack gets you about 54 unpainted figures.

With more than 110 figures, the Starter Pack includes small armies for all three factions and enough formation bases, sortie bases and base cards for a complete two player game - all for $34.99

The Army Packs contain 40 common soldiers - $14.99

The Cavalry Packs contain 15 mounted figures - $14.99

The Booster Packs contain 5-10 (depending on the size) Leader / special figures and their associated base cards, plus five additional formation base cards for use with figures from the Army and Cavalry Packs - $11.99

All Arcane Legions products (with the exception of the Starter) can be purchased faction specific.

So, let's look at the great aspects of this game, point by point.

Formation bases make for quick, easy movement and static abilities and bonuses. No more arguing over formations or groupings, and no more moving one unit laboriously after another. Units move together, stay together, die together.

It's possibly the most affordable, reliable miniatures game in the history of the genre. Common units can be bought for less than dollar a unit in army and cavalry packs, while commander and special units come in faction specific boosters. That means no more digging around in a booster box for useful units — because they are faction specific, you will always get units you can use.

Those two things are enough to convince me that this game has a chance. Its creators feel this is the one — the miniatures game that will catch on in a big way. And frankly, I'm quick to agree. I'm hopeful for Arcane Legions, and will definitely be checking it out once it hits store this September. Look for my review of Arcane Legions next month!

More info on the game:
BoardGameGeek
Arcane Legions

I can has?

2009-07-27T00:37:00.000-07:00

One of the largest problems that geeks face today concerns play surfaces. Either a table is too small, or perhaps it's too big (meaning the surface area does not allow everyone to gather around within arm's reach of a game's board and components). Perhaps one can fit a board game on the table, but then where do the snacks, the drinks go? I know I don't want to spill Mountain Dew all over Agricola. And now the night is over, but the game isn't — does one clean up, or does one leave the game out, its pieces subject to environmental hazards, food spills, and curious pets?

Well, it looks as though a company has finally taken an interest in delivering finely crafted game surfaces, because Geek Chic is impressing everyone in the tabletop community with its selection of handmade, heirloom quality play surfaces.

First up, there is the Emissary: a simple dropped-play surface that doubles as a dining table. When you're done gaming for the night, there's no need to clean up the game or lose your progress in a D&D campaign — there's a handy cover that slips right over, shielding your game and leaving the surface available for food and what have you.

The table also features drawers and pull-out desks for players to keep gaming peripherals, character sheets, snacks, and drinks — far out of reach of the expensive game components. Possibly the coolest feature is the flip-out GM station, complete with foldaway screen and a large, pull-out surface for gaming materials and secret dice rolling.

On top of this, the Emissary also utilizes a "layer-cake" system of interchangable play mats, including a white-board surface, a grid map with squares and hexes, and various other maps and play surfaces. It's a true geek's table, one I could easily see myself buying at some point. After all, a nice dining table could easily cost me $1500. Why not get the Emissary and double-up on the table's uses?

For the wealthier nerd, we also have the Sultan, a true marvel of craftsmanship (and geekmanship). It has everything the Emissary sports, plus built-in dice-towers, storage solutions, and a multitude of other awesome features.

So head over to Geek Chic and check them out. A nerd can dream, can't he?

Upcoming posts!

2009-07-26T01:42:00.001-07:00

Hey all. I've got quite a few posts in the pipeline at the moment, so I thought I'd give you all a preview of what to look for in the next week or so.

A preview of a new miniature's game entilted Arcane Legion. The game uses a revolutionary formation system. This, coupled with its ease of play, relative cheapness (when compared to other collectable minis games), and distribution method have caught my attention.

A review of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

A review of Son of Rambow, a charming British film that slipped under the radar this past year.

A review of Dominion: Intrigue, an expansion to the wildly popular card game Dominion.

Look for these and more soon!

Comic-Con: Days Two & Three

2009-07-25T23:13:00.000-07:00

Mickey Rourke as Whiplash in Iron Man 2. Oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm being told this a candid shot of Rourke leaving his home on any given Tuesday afternoon.

Here we go! Let's wrap-up Comic-Con days two and three!

Gary Oldman let slip at a panel that they might, in fact, be filming a follow-up to The Dark Knight next year, for release in 2011. He later backpedaled in an interview, stating that he had no idea when they were filming, but that it would be "soon." More here. Sounds like Oldman was just stirring up the fanboys, but the notion of a third Nolan film filming soon is intriguing. Could this mean a script (complete with villains) is nailed down?

Halo Legends, an upcoming anime based on the events of the Halo trilogy of video games, premiered. Check it out here.

Quint over at AIC has a solid write-up of the Iron Man 2 panel with director Jon Favreau. Mickey Rourke will be playing Whiplash, and some of the footage shown included an action sequence involving the character and Robert Downey, Jr.'s Tony Stark. However, the biggest reveal of the panel was confirmation of the appearance of War Machine, whom comic fans will recognize as the armored alter ego of Rhodes (played by Don Cheadle this time around). It's a good read, so check it out.

Check back for more updates!

Alice trailer making the rounds

2009-07-24T11:54:00.001-07:00

Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland has a trailer! Check it out here.

I'm kinda feeling put-off by how much they're banking on Depp's Mad Hatter. I hope the movie doesn't revolve around him for once. Also keep an eye out for obvious 3-D effects (the Cheshire Cat, Depp's Hatter unrolling rugs, et cetera).

Comic-Con: Day One

2009-07-23T23:37:00.000-07:00

Comic-Con began tonight with its preview night. Nothing too terribly exciting to report as of yet, but we have seen some new posters for films like Jonah Hex, Prince of Persia, and Tim Burton's upcoming Alice in Wonderland.

You can see them all here.

I'm not blown away by any of them, personally. Though Johnny Depp is creeping me out a little more than usual as the Mad Hatter.

Though I'm excited for Josh Brolin as Jonah Hex, the poster is fairly bland and uninteresting. Seeing the trademark facial scars is nice, but I'm a little tired of the people-standing-around-at-tilted-angles action movie poster. This is no exception. Also, did anyone else notice that Megan Fox's waist appears to have been digitally thinned to the point of looking inhuman? I mean, I know corsettes are slimming, but damn! Her insides are just being demolished!

And speaking of bland and downright awful posters, can we talk about the travesty that is Prince of Persia? Sorry, Jake, but you look more like a mediocre cosplayer than anything else. Seriously, should we be thanking Jake's mom for getting his Prince costume done in time for Comic-Con? This movie is going to suck on toast.

Also worth looking at is Maximum PC's gallery of images from Comic-Con's opening night. Catching a glimpse of armors for Iron Man 2 has to be the highlight for me.

Big news with Disney's lineup, which included a sneak peek at their upcoming Tron in 3-D. Quint over at AICN has got it covered. Check out some of the images! Looking pretty slick.

And, finally, the biggest news (and my favorite) to come out of the Con thus far is the 20-minute preview of James Cameron's Avatar. AICN's Quint covers the glory here.

UPDATE: If you can get past Harry "Neck-beard" Knowles' idiotic writing style, he has a fairly comprehensive wrap-up online now, which includes a pretty amusing commentary on the New Moon panel:

And lastly - the strutting Pattinson appeared - the screams were the most piercing here. And he seemed to me to reflect a degree of disdain for all this. I believe that outside of the money and the credit to his career that this is doing - he really deep down would admit he regrets being Edward. He doesn't seem comfortable with the screams, the constant following and cult that has really overpowered him.

Keep checking back on R#09 all this weekend for continuing daily wrap-ups on San Diego's Comic-Con 2009!

My life—recently and at present

2009-07-22T01:07:00.000-07:00

I now present to you, dear readers, a handy, bulleted list of major life events that have happened since I last updated my poor, neglected blog.

Large emotional blow: A very long-term relationship ended for me recently, which nearly sent my life into a emotional spiral. After wallowing for a couple of weeks, I picked myself back up and hurtled over the obstacles laid before me. While I'm still reeling from the shock, hurt, and sadness of it all, I'm doing well, all things considered, and am seeing life a little more clearly.
Saxifrage: I was co-editor (along with my wonderful, wonderful friend Jake K.M. Paikai) of PLU's campus literary arts magazine, Saxifrage, this past year. After months of toil, several all-nighters, back-breaking labor, worry, and stress, we put out the best book this university has ever seen. And that is not me being full of myself — after all, I simply helped put the book together. No, it's not I nor Jake who made Saxifrage so damn impressive. It was the quality and quantity of art, prose, poetry, and music that made it into that book. Polished and beautiful, deeply moving — this Saxifrage was something to remember. I could not have been happier with the finished product.
Internship: I scored an internship this summer with Fantagraphics, a super-cool comics publisher and distributor based right here in Seattle, WA. I've been copy-editing, cataloguing, indexing, transcribing, and generally having a blast while learning a crapload about the comics industry. I'll be there until late August.
Employment: As if working as an intern sorting comics wasn't geeky enough, I also scored some part-time work at Game On, my local board and card game store. Best day job I've ever had.
Family, graduations, friends: Though my social life has taken a nose-dive of late, I have had some time to fit in time with family and friends long neglected, as well as attend my little sister's high school graduation.

So there you have it, folks. The last three months. I've been busy as all hell, stressed out of my mind, physically exhausted, and emotionally drained, and it's not about to slow down for one second to allow me to catch my breath. But in all of this, despite everything that has happened to me, good and bad, I have to admit one thing: I am one lucky guy.

I return! Er... again!

2009-07-22T00:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's right. For the—lord almighty, how many times has it been?—thirteenth time, I return! On top of returning to my often neglected blog, I am also dusting off the microphone to once again take up the mantle of Trailer Trasher. That means two things: 1) the Great Trashing will finally be completed and 2) more episodes of Trailer Trashing will be produced.

Excuses will get me about as far as I can throw them, but I suppose I can put forth that the last four months have been the hardest of my young life—emotionally, physically, academically. I've hit several low-points, overcome some tall obstacles, and come out the other side feeling confident. Nevertheless, blogging and riffing, two things I enjoy immensely, fell by the wayside.

However, I am back, and will hope to have some meaty updates soon. In the meantime, follow me on Twitter!

Where in the world is Matt?

2009-03-08T21:25:00.000-07:00

(No, not the video where the guy is dancing everywhere. That's a different Matt entirely.)

An Update from Matt Click on Vimeo.

Update

2009-02-13T14:18:00.000-08:00

Yes, The Great Trashing is happening. It's taking me longer to sift through submissions than I thought. But I've got a long weekend coming up, and I'm hoping to get some serious work done. I've been really busy lately with school and work, and I recently re-formed a band with a guitarist buddy of mine (if you're at all interested, you can check out our website at www.phonicparagon.webs.com). Needless to say, life is a little hectic. But Trailer Trashing is alive and well, and The Great Trashing is coming along.

Thanks to all who submitted, and look for the finished episode within the month!

Only two days left!

2009-01-19T01:43:00.000-08:00

Hey Trashers!

This is your last reminder -- only two days remain until the official deadline for the first annual Great Trashing. There's still time to jot down a few jokes to send in, so get cracking! Remember, this can only work with your support, and you're guaranteed to hear at least one of your jokes (and likely more) in the finished episode, set for release in February. Don't miss out! Get your submissions in now!

Head to Rocket Number 09 to watch the video and read the official rules:
http://rocketnumber09.blogspot.com/2008/12/great-trashing-2008.html

And email submissions into me at rocketnumber09@gmail.com.

Thanks everyone!

Exciting news, not-so exciting news

2009-01-16T10:52:00.000-08:00

My spies have informed me of two things this morning. One: the legal dispute delaying Zack Snyder's Watchmen adaptation has come to a close, with Warner Bros. and Fox coming to an agreement. And two: now that Fox has lost its white-knuckled hold on one franchise I love, it's set its sights on a new one: Cowboy Bebop.

Yes, that's right. Fox has secured the rights to Cowboy Bebop and wants KEANU REEVES in the lead role of bounty hunter Spike Spiegel (see preliminary casting photo to the left -- lulz) My guess is that the soundtrack won't even feature Yoko Kanno. I also anticipate a happy ending.

I'm glad Watchmen is out of limbo and headed for theaters, but I am not looking forward to my least favorite studio producing an adaptation of my favorite anime.

Four days left!

2009-01-16T10:45:00.000-08:00

Hey Trashers!

So there's officially only four days left to submit to The Great Trashing! Write as few or as many jokes as you want, and you're guaranteed to hear at least one in the finished episode, to be released in February!

Head here to read the official rules and watch the short film.

Milk review up soon

2009-01-08T19:00:00.001-08:00

I saw Gus Van Sant's most recent film Milk at The Grand yesterday. Review up soon.

Z2k

2009-01-01T12:08:00.000-08:00

Owners of the 30gb 2006 Zune models found their devices frozen on this New Year -- at midnight, thousands of Microsoft's MP3 players spontaneously and collectively crashed and locked up on the loading screen. Users were perplexed, and the forums were soon alight by frustrated Zune owners.

It turns out that the leap year is the culprit.

The widespread crash, which has been dubbed Z2k by Zune users, is one of the more perplexing technological anomalies I've experienced. I'm own a refurbished 2006 30gb model and use it frequently. I've never had a problem with the device or the software, and have generally been pleased with the intuitiveness and reliability of the product.

This was just a weird situation that was widespread enough to illicit an immediate response from Microsoft, who pegged the problem and offered a solution -- wait a day. And it seems to have worked. Forum users are reporting Zunes back up and running without problems across the country, so it seems the potential crisis (and possible patch/recall) has been averted.

More coverage of Z2k:
LA Times
LA Times II

The wait for Watchmen

2008-12-28T23:39:00.000-08:00

The legal battle over Watchmen hit its climax over the holidays when a judge ruled that Twentieth Century Fox does, in fact, hold distribution rights to the film. So what does this mean to fans eagerly awaiting the release of Zack Snyder's awesome-looking adaptation? Essentially, the film is delayed indefinitely. And when it does see the light of the theater, Fox will have its grubby, money-grabbing hands all over it.

Full story is here on /Film.

Happy Holidays from Rocket Number 09

2008-12-24T15:14:00.000-08:00

I hope that everyone has a very happy holiday, whether it be religious or secular. Gather with your loved ones and relax for a few days. I know I definitely need that. After the hectic week I've had (more on that later), I'm gracious for a few days to veg and open gifts and eat a crap-load of carbs.

I've got some blog posts in the pipeline, plus an episode of Trailer Trashing in the works. Also, the submission period for The Great Trashing has officially begun -- get your submissions in by Jan. 20!

16 things you probably don't know about me

2008-12-23T15:23:00.000-08:00

This is a sad excuse for a blog post, because I typed it up originally for my Facebook friends. However, I find them interesting to read, so I thought I'd let my readers take a gander as well. No disturbing secrets are included, unfortunately.

1) I have a permanent dent in my head that appears when I crinkle my forehead. I cut my head open on the corner of a glass coffee table when I was four and the scar has never really faded. My other major scars include a dark patch of skin on my right hand (took a chunk out of doing something stupid on a bike) and a white scar across my right knee (cut it on a tree trunk, actually).

2) I was raised on Mystery Science Theater 3000. I owe that TV show my sense of humor and love of film. Plus, I wouldn't be nearly as snarky as I am today were it not for MST3k. When I was in middle school, my friends and I planned on filming our own series of MST3k-style episodes. We had robots and an entire set built, but the filming never happened. We stole a lot from local construction sites. Probably hundreds of dollars worth of materials, now that I really think about it.

3) During my Sophomore year of high school, I honestly thought I was going insane. It turned out the medication I was on at the time caused severe anxiety, panic attacks, and delusions. Fun times.

4) I know basically everything about Star Wars. No, seriously. Ask me something. Star Wars Trivial Pursuit isn't even slightly challenging.

5) One of my absolute favorite movies of all time is Alex Proyas' Dark City. Nobody has ever heard of it, but it’s amazing.

6) I have a recurring dream in which I'm arm-wrestling with an Eskimo. I used to have it a lot, not so much anymore. Now, my most frequent recurring dream entails me being unable to close the front door of my house.

7) Christmas is my favorite holiday, but I always get really depressed right around the beginning of the holiday season (usually right after Thanksgiving). I've never really known why and have just come to expect it.

8) One of my favorite things to do is eat lunch while watching the Food Network. It’s like smoking crack for me.

9) When The Fellowship of the Ring came out, I started writing a really bad fantasy novel that was essentially a rip-off of the movie.

10) I’m really bad with languages. I’ve tried German, Spanish, French, Japanese, and Latin. Of those, I’ve had the most success with German. I failed Spanish and dropped out of Japanese.

11) I figured out for myself that Santa wasn’t real when I was five years old. The whole thing just seemed so implausible to me. Along those same lines, I’ve never believed in the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy.

12) The best thing I’ve ever eaten is probably a Monte Cristo sandwich. It’s a ham and turkey sandwich with Swiss cheese, deep-fried, dusted with powdered sugar, and served with raspberry sauce. If you’ve never had one, amend this quickly.

13) I’m really, really lazy.

14) I’m an expert drummer and vocalist on Rock Band. And yes, I’m rather proud of this. Despite playing bass guitar competently in real life, I can only manage expert bass on most songs, and normally can’t even touch expert guitar. I love Rock Band.

15) I suffer from severe acid reflux paired with a hiatal hernia, which essentially means that I have the digestive track of a 63-year-old man.

16) I’ve been with my current partner, Jess, for over five and-a-half years. I attribute our happiness together to two things: our tendency to be up-front with each other, and our love of making each other laugh.

Submit!

2008-12-19T14:47:00.000-08:00

The Great Trashing 2008 from Matt Click on Vimeo.

Come one, come all, and submit your riffs to The Great Trashing 2008!

The Great Trashing 2008

2008-12-18T01:03:00.000-08:00

Writers, comedians, friends, countrymen, random online foot-traffickers: get those creative juices flowing, because for the first time in the history of Trailer Trashing, creator Matt Click is inviting the community to get involved! It’s the first annual Great Trashing! Enter your own witty, snarky, or otherwise humorous riffs and hear them performed by Matt in a special super-episode of Trailer Trashing to be released in February 2009! Your name will also appear in the credits. And don’t even get us started on the unceasing adoration you will receive for having contributed to Trailer Trashing in a fun and meaningful way!

Trailer Trashing is the brainchild of blogger Matt Click. Consisting of humorous and biting commentaries recorded over trailers, advertisements, and short films of yesteryear, Trailer Trashing has only grown in popularity and production value since its inception last year.

You can watch episodes of Trailer Trashing here.

How to Enter:

Submissions will be accepted from December 20, 2008 until January 20, 2009. That’s a month to get your riffs in!

Getting involved is simple! Watch the selected short, a classic 1951 educational film entitled Drug Addition (find it at the bottom of this post). When you think of something funny, simply type it up in a word document with the included timestamp and on-screen prompt. Like this:

03:26 (guy rolls down his car window) Insert snarky comment here!

Now just attach your word document to an email and send it to rocketnumber09@gmail.com with the subject line “Great Trashing Submission [Name].” You can also simply include your riffs in the body of the email if you’d like.

You can write as many or as few riffs as you want, and the best part of it all is that you’re guaranteed to hear at least one of your submitted riffs in the finished episode! So make sure to tune in this February to hear your writing featured on an episode of Trailer Trashing. Now go write and get those submissions in by January 20!

Questions or comments? No worries! Send any queries you might have pertaining to The Great Trashing or Trailer Trashing in general to rocketnumber09@gmail.com. And please, send this information along to funny friends and relatives. The more the merrier. And head here to RSVP at the Facebook event!

And for your Trashing pleasure, here is the short, Drug Addiction:

American Akira

2008-12-17T11:29:00.000-08:00

In honor of the upcoming remake.

Still alive

2008-12-17T00:23:00.001-08:00

As I am secreted out the butt end of this semester, I come to realize that my blog lies dormant with a thick layer of dust and serious sense of neglect. However, I am still around, and plan on coming back to my blog over the holiday and hopefully updating regularly through second semester, which should prove to be a little bit easier than this current one (which royally sucked).

I've got two episodes of Trailer Trashing in the pipe and a special event coming up that will involve you: the reader. So stay tuned.

In other news, the "s" key on my laptop's keyboard is refusing to work consistently.

Yes We DID

2008-11-04T22:16:00.000-08:00

Trailer Trashing: Soapy the Germ Fighter

2008-10-27T15:23:00.000-07:00

Trailer Trashing: Soapy the Germ Fighter from Matt Click on Vimeo.

After a month-long hiatus, Trailer Trashing returns!

Bush made human

2008-10-26T00:56:00.000-07:00

W. (2008)

Directed by Oliver Stone

Starring Josh Brolin, Richard Dreyfuss, Jeffrey Wright

Rated PG-13, 131 minutes

*** / *****

In just a few short days, the U.S. will elect its new President. George W. Bush, after eight long years, will step down, leaving a legacy of war, questionable policies and steadily declining approval ratings. Oliver Stone attempts to define this legacy, and make sense of a genuinely fascinating public figure, in the new biographical film entitled simple “W."

Stone is a versatile filmmaker, known for everything from the 1986 Vietnam film “Platoon” and 2004’s incoherent “Alexander,” to the 1991 Oscar-winner “JFK” and 2006’s “World Trade Center.” Though “W.” sports its fair share of flaws, I’m tempted to call it Stone’s best since “JFK,” if only for its superb portrayal of Bush.

“W.” is a fairly straightforward biopic, following in a non-linear fashion the rise of Bush from alcoholic college burnout to governor and, finally, President of the United States of America.

Promising up-and-comer Josh Brolin (whom I first noticed in Robert Rodriquez’s “Planet Terror,” and later recognized in the Coen brothers’ brilliant “No Country for Old Men”) tackles the role of George W. Bush. Brolin doesn’t really look like Bush—he’s taller, better looking, with a firmer chin—but 20 minutes into the movie, that doesn’t matter.

Brolin nails it: the accent, the mannerisms, that awkward little this-press-conference-isn’t-going-well chuckle we’ve grown to hate. And with Stone superimposing Brolin’s likeness on existing news footage of Bush, the illusion is made solid. Brolin is fully believable.

The cast in general is stellar. Stone has done some interesting yet brilliant casting, with supporting actors Jeffrey Wright (playing Colin Powell), Richard Dreyfuss (as the leering Dick Cheney) and Thandie Newton (unrecognizable as Condoleezza Rice) being the real standouts. The uncomfortable, often heated war room conflict between Powell and Cheney was an intriguing aspect for me—it could have been a film all its own.

In some aspects, though, “W.” is disappointing. Often, things are overlooked. Events such as the 2000 and 2004 elections, rife with scandal and doubt, receive mere offhand mentions, while Bush nearly choking to death on a pretzel warrants a scene in slow-motion. In this, “W.” feels lopsided and disjointed, at once relevant and yet somewhat meaningless.

But what really makes this film is the insight it presents to the audience, painting Bush not as the unintelligent country bumpkin caricature he’s become, but as an honestly well-meaning—if misguided—man. We see him troubled, unable to sleep, a grimace playing at the corners of his mouth, pondering the mistakes of his administration. Bush is a man pushed into politics by a need to impress his father.

Lacking self-confident decisiveness, he surrounds himself with a cabinet of genuinely intelligent (and conniving) people, and allows himself to be swayed in a peer-pressure-esque fashion by people like Cheney and the manipulative Karl Rove (Toby Jones), whose ulterior and sadistic motives are not made clear.

“W.” is not overtly anti-Bush, nor does it attempt to garner sympathy from the audience. As in “JFK,” Stone remains neutral, and allows the story to unfold, with competent actors at the helm. “W.” merely presents, for once, a case for George Bush the person, not George Bush the President—a foolish boy who grew up and tried to finish what daddy started.

I still exist

2008-10-08T15:51:00.000-07:00

Boy, it's been awhile since I've done one of this entries. But here it is: Sorry for the lack of updates. I'm back at school, working two jobs, and things are fairly hectic. I haven't had a spare moment to myself in a few weeks and my blog is feeling the neglect. I will make an effort to update more often, however, and I do have an episode of Trailer Trashing in the works.

MTV to release Rock Band AC/DC track pack

2008-09-29T23:17:00.000-07:00

I'm a religious Rock Band player, but if there's one major complaint I've had with the game, it's "Where the hell is AC/DC?" Now, they made up for it slightly with "Let There be Rock" featured on Rock Band 2, but there's still a severe shortage of AC/DC. But now, my wildest dreams have come true.

Wal-Mart will exclusively carry the AC/DC Live: Rock Band Track Pack.

Now, not only do we get a ton of kickass AC/DC tracks with which to rock to -- but it's also tracks for their live show at Donington, which is, honestly, the greatest rock live album of all time. That's not hyperbole, it honestly rocks that friggin' hard. I am totally psyched!

And here's the track list!

Paul Newman (1925 - 2008)

2008-09-27T12:19:00.000-07:00

Sadly, it seems all I talk about on this blog now is the loss of treasured talents. First it was voiceover artist Don LaFontaine, then Pink Floyd keyboardist and lyricist Robert Wright. And today we receive the tragic news that legendary actor and activist Paul Newman has died.

Newman was known for many classic films, including Cool Hand Luke, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and The Color of Money. He will be sorely missed and remembered as a dynamic talent in Hollywood.

Trailer Trashing: Why Study Home Economics?

2008-09-21T21:08:00.000-07:00

Trailer Trashing: Why Study Home Economics? from Matt Click on Vimeo.

In which women of the 1950s learn that their destinies as homemakers are inescapable! Big thanks to my dad, Shawn, for helping me write this episode.

Metallica has returned

2008-09-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

“What don’t kill ya, make ya more strong,” growls Metallica vocalist and rhythm guitarist James Hetfield. These lyrics, uttered on the track Broken, Beat & Scarred, sum up the band’s new album, Death Magnetic, which just might be their best effort since 1991’s self-tilted “black” album. After 17 years of disappointing albums and lukewarm critical reception, Metallica is back.

The 2001 departure of longtime bassist Jason Newsted sparked a series of heated conflicts within Metallica, culminating in Hetfield’s admission into rehab for alcoholism during filming of the documentary Some Kind of Monster. But in 2003, the kings of thrash metal were back in the studio, recording tracks for St. Anger. Fans were psyched to hear what this clean and sober Metallica would have to offer.

The result was less than stellar. St. Anger was almost universally lambasted by fans and critics alike. It was a thrown-together effort that lacked both the speed and the ferocity of 80s-era Metallica. Gone were the solos, replaced by lazy, middling riffs and an infamously “steely” sounding snare drum. It seemed that the Metallica the fans had come to know and love was gone, replaced by a handful of 40-something sellout has-beens who neither cared for nor were aware of their fanbase.

But Death Magnetic, released Sept. 10, is the album Metallica fans have been waiting 17 years for. This is a return to Metallica’s 1980s heydays—longer songs, blistering guitar solos, aggressive drumming, growling vocals and intense bass backing. Death Magnetic has more in common with albums like …And Justice For All and Master of Puppets than any of the band’s 90s fair.

After a rough few years of rehab and therapy, followed by a dismal album, it seems what hasn't killed Metallica has only made it stronger.

The album opens with "That Was Just Your Life," a track reminiscent of 1988’s "Blackened" in its quiet, slower-paced beginning digressing into a raging torrent of guitar and drummer Lars Ulrich’s pedal-laden madness. It’s almost shocking to hear Metallica’s raw 80s style—albeit in the drop C tuning of St. Anger.

Next up is "The End of the Line," a song many fans might be familiar with from Metallica’s recent show in Seoul. It’s a solo-heavy track with fancy fretwork courtesy of both Hetfield and lead guitarist Kirk Hammet. This was the first track on the album that made me realize I was listening to something special.

Other notable tracks include "Broken, Beat & Scarred," "All Nightmare Long" and the single, "The Day That Never Comes," a song evocative of the classic track "One." And, for the first time since 1988’s …And Justice For All, Metallica included an instrumental track (and a damn good one at that), entitled "Suicide and Redemption."

There are some letdowns, though. "The Unforgiven III" feels unnecessary and unfinished, and generally out-of-place on Death Magnetic. It sounds like a remnant of their more mainstream 90s style, and is the only real disappointment on the album. "Cyanide" is also fairly bland, but both tracks are quickly forgotten after songs like "The Judas Kiss" and "My Apocalypse" follow to blow them away.

Backup vocals are virtually nonexistent on Death Magnetic, though maybe we should be thankful, considering the absence of Newsted, the only member of the band other than Hetfield capable of carrying a tune. But Robert Trujillo, Metallica’s new beast of a bassist, makes his official record debut here, and most definitely proves himself with furious finger-style plucking. He is showcased nicely in a few tracks, notably "The End of the Line."

Hammet is at the top of his game, shredding solos and weaving in and out of Hetfield’s furious rhythm guitar. The pair of them create a fiery duel of monstrous riffs. Ulrich reclaims his throne as well, divorced from that awful snare drum and doing what he does best—double bass-pedal and lots of it. As songwriters, the members of Metallica have produced some great tracks, with superb instrumentation and lyrics that hearken back to the golden days of thrash metal. The navel-gazing than ran rampant throughout St. Anger is gone—these musicians have gotten over themselves and returned to their passion for music.

This Metallica fan was one album away from giving up on the fearsome foursome, but my love for the band has been rekindled with Death Magnetic, an album that pulls style right out of the 80s and modernizes it for fans old and new. It’s hard to believe it, but these middle-aged rockers have put out a truly kickass album. Despite a few bland tracks, Death Magnetic is, hands-down, the best Metallica album in 17 years, and well worth a listen for any fan, loyal and apprehensive alike.

You can listen to the album streaming in its entirety on the official Metallica website.

Pray for us, Sarah!

2008-09-18T01:04:00.000-07:00

Now, you all know that I don't like to steer this blog towards politics or social issues, not because I don't care, but simply because that's not the intent of my writing here. I am, however, furious at Sarah Palin and John McCain for their blatant lies in their campaign and their ads against Barack Obama and Joe Biden. I think McCain has sold out to the Conservatives to gain their votes, turned against his own bi-partisan values, and generally has become a hollow, puppet-like shell of his former self. And Sarah Palin?

Don't. Even. Get. Me. Started.

Oh, although I recently found out that she attempted to pass a law in her home town that would require victims of rape to purchase their own rape kits. Think about that for a moment.

In any case, the video I'm embedding here is a clever message to Palin from the LGBT community of New York.

Richard Wright (1943-2008)

2008-09-15T21:03:00.000-07:00

Richard Wright, keyboardist for one of my favorite bands of all time, Pink Floyd, and talented musician and songwriter, is dead at 65 after battling with cancer. His writing credits include songs on Dark Side of the Moon and Wish You Were Here, arguably two of the greatest rock albums of all time. His song "Us And Them" remains one of my favorites, not only in Floyd's repertoire, but of rock songs in general.

I am deeply saddened at the passing of such a great artist. To have lost this talented musician and driving lyrical force is tragic.

Trailer Trashing: A New Era

2008-09-13T00:00:00.001-07:00

Trailer Trashing: A New Era from Matt Click on Vimeo.

Join the revolution.

Lou Lumenick is a terrible human being

2008-09-11T16:47:00.000-07:00

I am completely speechless. New York Post film critic Lou Lumenick, who days after Heath Ledger's death posted a defaming article on the young actor, is at it again. I am now convinced that he is an irrevocable asshole. Courtesy of Daily News:

The audience at the Toronto Film Festival press screening of Slumdog Millionaire didn't know they were also going to get live entertainment Saturday.

There'd been lots of Oscar buzz about Danny (Trainspotting) Boyle's flick, about a poor Mumbai guy who wins a girl and becomes a national hero by going on a game show. So the screening room was packed.

Soon after the lights went down, a source tells us, "a man in the audience started yelling, 'Don't touch me!' People looked around and shrugged. Ten minutes later, the voice yells again, 'I said don't touch me!'"

Again, people shrugged off the disturbance. But a few minutes later, says our source, "the guy stands up in the darkness and thwacks the guy behind him with a big festival binder. He hit him so hard everybody could hear it. Everyone freaked out and turned around."

The thwacker? New York Post film critic Lou Lumenick.

The thwackee? Esteemed Chicago Sun-Times film critic Roger Ebert.

After battling thyroid and salivary gland cancer for years, Ebert, 66, can no longer speak.

"Apparently, Roger was just trying to tap Lumenick on the shoulder to signal him that he couldn't see the movie," surmises our source. "He was trying to ask him to move over a bit."

Though Lumenick seemed surprised to see whom he had struck, he offered no apology, according to another source.

Now, just in the interest of journalistic fairness, here's Ebert's response.

God, how I hate Lou Lumenick.

According to Michael Caine, Batman sequel is cast

2008-09-09T11:18:00.000-07:00

This comes fresh from MTV, who interviewed Michael Caine at the Toronto Film Festival. Caine has apparently confirmed rumors that Johnny Depp will be playing Riddler and Philip Seymour Hoffman will be playing Penguin:

"I was with [a Warner Bros.] executive and I said, 'Are we going to make another one?' They said yeah. I said, 'How the hell are we going to top Heath?' And he says 'I’ll tell you how you top Heath — Johnny Depp as The Riddler and Philip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin.'"

So there you have it. Confirmation from someone inside the production. But then again, this could just be Caine spinning rumors. What do you all think?

The Trailer Trashing budget and goals

2008-09-07T02:14:00.000-07:00

Working with Trailer Trashing has been one of the most fun and rewarding experiences I've had on this blog. It allows me to work with multiple media. I get to edit video, fiddle with audio, and write a ton. The writing process is fun, and recording is a blast (when it works). For the past five months, I've been using a cheap Logitech USB microphone with a DIY pop screen and a combination of Windows Movie Maker and whatever free video editing trial software I happen to stumble across. I use Audacity for audio recording, editing, and exporting. For a free program, Audacity is fantastic. But I think it's time to get serious about Trailer Trashing. Well, as serious as I can get on a college student's budget.

Here's my spending plan for the next few months:

Blue Snowball USB Microphone (Bundle) $99.00

Corel Ulead Video Studio 11.5 Plus $49.99

Total: $148.99

The Snowball USB Microhpone is a product I have read nothing but glowing reviews for. It's durable, affordable, and seriously excellent quality. Plus, it looks badass and totally retro. Blue claims it's the first professional quality USB mic and, just in the sample recordings I've heard, I am tempted to agree. This sucker works and I am very excited to start using it. Hopefully I can get my hands on one in the next couple of months.

As for the Ulead software, I used Ulead exclusively for video editing in my middle school filmmaking days. Their newest edition, 11.5, is supposedly the best out there for its price range. I don't need to do anything fancy with video editing; just something to trim clips, add audio, render files, et cetera. Not wanting to fork over the hefty dough for Sony Vegas or Adobe Premiere, I'm opting for the cheaper, if less incredible, alternative.

And my goals for Trailer Trashing:

Produce an episode every two weeks
Bring in a guest Trasher every 3-4 episodes
Work towards a better looking and sounding product
Gain some exposure and strive for an iRiff on RiffTrax
Get funnier

There. My agenda for the next few months, on top of keeping up with this blog's regular foray of written entries, managing two editor jobs, and dealing with schoolwork. Doable? Yeah. And I'm willing to stress a bit to get serious about Trailer Trashing. I feel like I've got something here and I'm going to strive to do the best I can with it.