Awesome Thing: Steampunk Gameboy

Those who know me well will attest to my absolute love of all things steampunk. deviantART denizen Thretris has combined my passion for steampunk and my love of gaming with his Steampunk Gameboy. Too cool for words.

I can has?

One of the largest problems that geeks face today concerns play surfaces. Either a table is too small, or perhaps it's too big (meaning the surface area does not allow everyone to gather around within arm's reach of a game's board and components). Perhaps one can fit a board game on the table, but then where do the snacks, the drinks go? I know I don't want to spill Mountain Dew all over Agricola. And now the night is over, but the game isn't — does one clean up, or does one leave the game out, its pieces subject to environmental hazards, food spills, and curious pets?

Well, it looks as though a company has finally taken an interest in delivering finely crafted game surfaces, because Geek Chic is impressing everyone in the tabletop community with its selection of handmade, heirloom quality play surfaces.

First up, there is the Emissary: a simple dropped-play surface that doubles as a dining table. When you're done gaming for the night, there's no need to clean up the game or lose your progress in a D&D campaign — there's a handy cover that slips right over, shielding your game and leaving the surface available for food and what have you.

The table also features drawers and pull-out desks for players to keep gaming peripherals, character sheets, snacks, and drinks — far out of reach of the expensive game components. Possibly the coolest feature is the flip-out GM station, complete with foldaway screen and a large, pull-out surface for gaming materials and secret dice rolling.

On top of this, the Emissary also utilizes a "layer-cake" system of interchangable play mats, including a white-board surface, a grid map with squares and hexes, and various other maps and play surfaces. It's a true geek's table, one I could easily see myself buying at some point. After all, a nice dining table could easily cost me $1500. Why not get the Emissary and double-up on the table's uses?

For the wealthier nerd, we also have the Sultan, a true marvel of craftsmanship (and geekmanship). It has everything the Emissary sports, plus built-in dice-towers, storage solutions, and a multitude of other awesome features.

So head over to Geek Chic and check them out. A nerd can dream, can't he?

The Great Office War

Here's a truly epic video I found while browsing Vimeo, which is soon to be the new home of Trailer Trashing (expect an episode this evening). I can only imagine how much fun this short film was to shoot.


The Great Office War from Runawaybox on Vimeo.

New Nerf gun... I want

Check this thing out. I won't hesitate to admit it: I am 20 years old and I own and regularly use on various friends on family members several Nerf weapons, my particular favorite being my Nerf N-Strike Longshot. So, naturally, I am quite excited about the new Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster. Here's the product description, courtesy of Entertainment Earth:

Complete your N-Strike arsenal and prepare for the ultimate in battery-powered blasting! Be ready for any battle with the Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster-- an awesome, fully automatic dart cannon! Load the blaster with fresh batteries and fire at a rate of up to three darts per second! Watch as the belt feeds automatically through the blaster, letting the barrage of firepower continue as you battle your opponent. The piston-powered internal launching system makes it an unstoppable force! Switch to single-shot mode for precision blasting. The removable tripod folds for easy transport – or a quick escape from enemy fire! Even your toughest opponent won’t know what hit him!

A 25-round ammo belt feeding at a rate of three darts per second? I fully intend on purchasing and frequently using this weapon.

Plastic, resin and a touch of insanity -- the toys of today

I’ve always been really into toys. I kept close to a hundred “Star Wars” figures and vehicles in a large plastic container, I owned nearly two dozen Transformers and Beast Wars toys (my inability to transform them was quite frustrating). My childhood fondness for action figures has become an innate love of collectibles and memorabilia, and my room is heavily adorned with all manner of statuettes and figurines. Many of the toys children have access to nowadays are completely awesome – and then some of them are ridiculously stupid. In today’s entry, we’ll take a look at a few of the more asinine toys currently on the market.

Kryptonite Power Lex Luthor:
I saw “Superman Returns.” Three times, actually. And not once in any of those viewings did Lex Luthor don a black suit of armor festooned with kryptonite. I also don’t recall him ever using a kryptonite gun. If I’m mistaken, please let me know. But I’m actually pretty positive that Lex Luthor would never, even in the nerdiest fan fiction, utilize these two items. You see, Lex is a villain who works behind the scenes – he uses his intelligence and cunning to fight Superman. He would never face Supes in physical combat, knowing full well that he would lose. This toy, therefore, is inherently ludicrous. Plus, Kevin Spacey looks ridiculous cast in resin. I mean, look at his face. It’s hilarious.

Furreal Friends Cuddle Chimp:
I have seen this toy in action, and let me tell you: it is absolutely the most terrifying, demented toy I have ever seen. If you can’t tell from the picture, the Cuddle Chimp is super realistic, and yet disturbingly lifeless. Imagine this creature, its cold eyes boring placidly into your soul as you urge it speak. You feel slightly unnerved, but persist in trying to communicate with it. Suddenly, it responds to your movements. It’s claw-like fingers tense as it opens its arms wide—is it asking for a hug, or attempting to throttle you with its ape strength?—and grunts. You then quickly remove its batteries and toss it in the dumpster behind your house. Some nights, you swear you can hear it cooing softly to itself, biding its time until it climbs into your bedroom window to exact its revenge.

K9 Corps:
When I was a kid, we had bipedal humanoid action figures of all kinds – sharks, dinosaurs, cats … And now, in typical toy manufacture fashion, we have bipedal humanoid dogs, who are apparently members of an elite military group known as the K9 Corps. Their function is unknown to me, but I’m pretty sure they’re currently deployed in Afghanistan. Now, sharks, dinosaurs and felines make fine soldiers (SWAT Kats anyone?), but I really don’t see the apparent benefits of a dog squad. For starters, they would lay down their arms to anyone willing to scratch them behind the ears or partake in a quick game of fetch. Any band of terrorists could easily defeat the K9 Corps by including a bag of Beggin’ Strips in their arsenal along with grenades and AK-47’s.

Lost – Hurley Action Figure (With Sound!)
Now, this toy isn’t so much stupid as it is hilarious. For those of you unaware of the character, this is Hurley, a giant man portrayed by actor Jorge Garcia on the series “Lost.” The figure depicts Hurley standing on a beach, proudly displaying what appear to be a pair of dirty boxer shorts on a flagpole. Now, I stopped watching “Lost” after the first season (it spiraled into a fiery, chaotic mass of unanswered questions), but I really can’t imagine liking the show enough to own a Hurley action figure. Is there really anyone proudly displaying this thing on their desk at the office? Or on the mantle, illuminated beautifully by a gently roaring fire? I highly doubt it. The toy’s best feature, by far, is its ability to play delightful sound bites from the series. Hurley repeats nearly a dozen hilarious phrases, including “Hey, someone nuke me a burrito,” “My pants just ripped wide open,” and “Who ate all the damn chocolate?”

The Oozinator:
The Oozinator is possibly the single most ridiculous toy ever conceived. On the surface, it appears to be a normal, everyday super soaker, the kind you might bring to a summer-time water fight and drench your buddies with. But then you realize something horrifying: this is no ordinary super soaker. No, this weapon doesn’t shoot water – it shoots slime. It propels great, sticky globs of sewage sludge at innocent children. What kid in this world would enjoy being shot at by taffy-like streams of green goo? It’s like being sneezed on. I don’t need a toy to launch snot at me. With a toy like this on the market, literally anything is possible. How about a water pistol that shoots curdled milk? Or a slingshot that flings bags of rancid garbage? Hell, why not a plastic bazooka that launches rotten fruit? It’s all in good fun.

Right, so there you have it, just a sampling of the many and varied ridiculous toys out there. Really, any online toy retailer is a goldmine for these type of things – strange, animal-like robots that transform into cheeseburgers and such.