16 things you probably don't know about me

This is a sad excuse for a blog post, because I typed it up originally for my Facebook friends. However, I find them interesting to read, so I thought I'd let my readers take a gander as well. No disturbing secrets are included, unfortunately.

1) I have a permanent dent in my head that appears when I crinkle my forehead. I cut my head open on the corner of a glass coffee table when I was four and the scar has never really faded. My other major scars include a dark patch of skin on my right hand (took a chunk out of doing something stupid on a bike) and a white scar across my right knee (cut it on a tree trunk, actually).

2) I was raised on Mystery Science Theater 3000. I owe that TV show my sense of humor and love of film. Plus, I wouldn't be nearly as snarky as I am today were it not for MST3k. When I was in middle school, my friends and I planned on filming our own series of MST3k-style episodes. We had robots and an entire set built, but the filming never happened. We stole a lot from local construction sites. Probably hundreds of dollars worth of materials, now that I really think about it.

3) During my Sophomore year of high school, I honestly thought I was going insane. It turned out the medication I was on at the time caused severe anxiety, panic attacks, and delusions. Fun times.

4) I know basically everything about Star Wars. No, seriously. Ask me something. Star Wars Trivial Pursuit isn't even slightly challenging.

5) One of my absolute favorite movies of all time is Alex Proyas' Dark City. Nobody has ever heard of it, but it’s amazing.

6) I have a recurring dream in which I'm arm-wrestling with an Eskimo. I used to have it a lot, not so much anymore. Now, my most frequent recurring dream entails me being unable to close the front door of my house.

7) Christmas is my favorite holiday, but I always get really depressed right around the beginning of the holiday season (usually right after Thanksgiving). I've never really known why and have just come to expect it.

8) One of my favorite things to do is eat lunch while watching the Food Network. It’s like smoking crack for me.

9) When The Fellowship of the Ring came out, I started writing a really bad fantasy novel that was essentially a rip-off of the movie.

10) I’m really bad with languages. I’ve tried German, Spanish, French, Japanese, and Latin. Of those, I’ve had the most success with German. I failed Spanish and dropped out of Japanese.

11) I figured out for myself that Santa wasn’t real when I was five years old. The whole thing just seemed so implausible to me. Along those same lines, I’ve never believed in the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy.

12) The best thing I’ve ever eaten is probably a Monte Cristo sandwich. It’s a ham and turkey sandwich with Swiss cheese, deep-fried, dusted with powdered sugar, and served with raspberry sauce. If you’ve never had one, amend this quickly.

13) I’m really, really lazy.

14) I’m an expert drummer and vocalist on Rock Band. And yes, I’m rather proud of this. Despite playing bass guitar competently in real life, I can only manage expert bass on most songs, and normally can’t even touch expert guitar. I love Rock Band.

15) I suffer from severe acid reflux paired with a hiatal hernia, which essentially means that I have the digestive track of a 63-year-old man.

16) I’ve been with my current partner, Jess, for over five and-a-half years. I attribute our happiness together to two things: our tendency to be up-front with each other, and our love of making each other laugh.