Paris Hilton thrown in jail: finally, sweet justice is served!

Looks like money can't buy everything, Paris: Quit whining and do your time.

I seriously can't stop smiling. I'm so giddy, it's unbelievable. It's a beautiful sunny day here in Puyallup, Washington, and the fact that I just paid $3.39/gal for gas doesn't phase me in the least. You know why?

Because Paris Hilton is going to jail.

Huzzah, huzzah, huzzah! I think a little time in the slammer will do this spoiled socialite brat some good. Especially after all of the special treatment she's received. For instance, last June, Hilton hit a parked car in her Daddy's range-rover (while not wearing a seatbelt) and sped off without leaving a note. That's a punishable driving offense, worth up to six months in prison.

My opinion? She got off easy. After all of her traffic violations, 45 days is a slap on the wrist. She's been caught drinking and driving, driving without headlights, driving recklessly and now, driving with a suspended license (she was on probation for -- you guessed it -- a past traffic offense).

And now that she's been sentenced, her parents are crying for an appeal. Why would their precious slut of a daughter be above the law? She's skated by too many times in the past, it's time for her to own up to it. Her fame is perplexing to me in the first place, and she most certainly doesn't deserve any special treatment.

After the decision, Paris made this statement: "I feel that I was treated unfairly and that the sentence is both cruel and unwarranted. I don't deserve this."

No, you do. If Joe Schmo hits a car and doesn't leave a note, he's subject to the law. If he drives under the influence of alcohol, he's subject to the law. If he drives with no headlights, he's subject to the law. If he's on probation and drives recklessly with a suspended license, he's subject to THE DAMN LAW.

Guess what, Paris: YOU'RE SUBJECT TO THE LAW. You have to abide by the simple rules of driving as much as your poorer, less attractive underlings, and if you violate them, you have to live with the consequences.

I'm still smiling. Justice has been served, and it's so very, very sweet.


  1. http://moeschwag.com/pismyprbit.html
    for the 'DON'T SAVE PARIS' tee!

  2. Did Paris do something to you that I don't know about? :)

  3. I was so excited when I heard about this. She sucks.

    If there's one celeb I'd love to see in an orange jumpsuit, it's Paris Hilton.

    Everyone picture this: Paris Hilton's cellmate (if she gets one): a hairy, thuggish lesbian. HILARIOUS.


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