The internet is a tool of convenience: use it, idiots

Google: the solution to all of life's problems.

The internet is a wonderful thing, isn't it? Never before in the history of invention and innovation has humanity been capable of accessing the complete filmography of Freddi Prinze Jr. and, not three minutes later, upload footage of themselves lip-syncing to Madonna's "Hung up" for thousands to witness. But the internet isn't simply a storehouse for entertainment (though, lately I've been using Google Video to watch episodes of "Mystery Science Theater 3000 -- awesome). It is a powerful tool, one that has made my life a hell of a lot easier. I can buy movie tickets, look up anything I need to know, buy gifts without moving my lazy ass, et cetera.

But I have come across more people, in this past year of working at Hollywood Video, who essentially go out of their way to not use the internet and make their lives harder. A typical conversation with one of these morons goes something like this:

MORON: Hey, how's it going?
ME: Not too bad. Yourself?
MORON: Good, good. Hey, I can't seem to find the third "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie on the new release wall.
ME: Uh ... that's because it's still in the movie theaters. It came out like two weeks ago.
MORON: (genuinely shocked) Really?
ME: Yeah. And if you just checked online you could have saved yourself a trip to the video store, you insufferable idiot.
MORON: You know what, you're right. I'm gonna go kill myself.
ME: Good to hear. Have a great night.

OK, so that last bit about suicide hasn't happened yet, but it should have. The fact of the matter is, people just don't utilize the web like they should. Every teenage girl in this country has a MySpace that they check religiously thirteen times an hour, and yet they can't do a simple Google search to find out when "Black Christmas" comes out on DVD. It's ridiculous.

Anyway, this may seem quite insignificant to most of you. It just bugs me severely. Plus, it's my blog and I can write about whatever the hell I want. So, suck it.

On a lighter note, I need more question for the Ask Matt Vlog coming up. Get on that.